The Funeral After You're Gone
by obi's girl
Summary: Inspired by Jade_Skywalker's 'Only Time'. This is probably AU since Jaina, I hope, doesn't die in the NJO series. Jag’s reaction to Jaina dying before they were able to be married.
1. Prologue

The Funeral By obi's girl  
  
How could this happen, Jag cried, staring at his fiancé's burial pyre. We never even had the chance to be together or grow old together and watch our grandchildren...Jagged Fel wanted to hit something, anything to dull the pain of loosing Jaina. He glanced up as Luke Skywalker and his Uncle neared him; the two of them probably wanted to offer their condolences but Jag didn't want to hear it.  
  
He just wished all the pain could go away and there was nothing, no memories, nothing. Jag turned away, walking in the opposite direction. It would be hard the next couple days; people would stop by and say they were sorry and it was a great loss to not only him but everyone. He'd have to smile and say 'thank you' and move along, only to be met by someone else who would say the same thing...  
  
Strangely, Jag always believed Jaina was invincible because she was a Jedi. A warrior and immortal; it was stupid to believe that but he never once believed it could all end and Jaina would be taken away from him. Just once, he wished were a Jedi so he could go out and slaughter the Vong. They didn't deserve to live; none of them.  
  
"Jag...?" Luke asked, stopping the pilot in his tracks as he started to leave. Jag huffed, facing the Jedi Master. It was strange, throughout the entire service, Jag expected Luke to belt over and start crying uncontrollably because he was Jaina's Uncle. He never did and in a way, that angered Jag but he knew he was grieving in his own way. Luke smiled at him, removing a silver cylinder from his robe --- Jaina's lightsaber. "She would have wanted you to have this...I don't know what you can do with it since you're not a Jedi, but I know she would have wanted you to have it and keep it safe for her."  
  
"Just wish I could have kept her safe," Jag mumbled, taking the lightsaber in his hands. Jaina's lightsaber had been everything to her, despite the fact she rarely used it. She was more accustomed to using a blaster than a lightsaber; her aim was always precise and hardly ever off-target. "Thank you, Master Skywalker." Jag turned away from him, gripping the lightsaber in his hand as he disappeared from the Temple.  
  
~~  
  
Jagged Fel huffed, staring up at the night's moon. He had been sitting on one the hillsides for the past two hours, trying not to remember Jaina and his own pain. He'd have to go through her things tomorrow with Jacen, her only living brother. After Myrkr, everyone believed Jacen was dead along with Anakin. By some miracle, Jacen was kept alive and nursed by Vergere. But there was no way Anakin could ever be brought back. Jag couldn't even imagine what Leia was probably going through at that moment. She had lost both her sons on Myrkr and even though she had one of them back, she'd lost another child.  
  
It wasn't fair...Everything was a wreck...  
  
Jag stood up, glaring at the clouds, "Why did you leave me, Jaina?!" He shouted, tears threatening his eyes, "We could have been so happy! I hate you for this, Sticks! Damnit, I loved you...and I still do. But you're not here; you'll never be here again. I'll never have the chance to tell you 'I love you' every morning after waking up. It's not fair, Sticks, what you're putting me through."  
  
[i] Jag...[/i] a voice cried.  
  
He turned, if it was one of Jaina's family, he didn't want to talk to them. He didn't want to see anyone, except the her face. He wanted to run his fingers down her cheeks and stare into her eyes, and know everything was going to be all right.  
  
[i] Jag...[/i] the voice repeated as Jag's eyes cleared.  
  
He was able to make out a bluish-white ethereal body, but it could have been anything but it wasn't. It was Jaina. She smiled lovingly at him; her hair was unbounded and dressed in a loose white gown. [i] Hello, my love. [/i ]  
  
"Jaina....? How? What are you?" he asked, still in awe of how beautiful she actually was.  
  
She shrugged, [i] I'm dead; I'm not here, well, physically anyway. But I had to talk to you. [/i]  
  
Jag huffed, staring again at the moonlight, "What about? That you're sorry you're dead?"  
  
He expected her to get angry with him but she didn't. Instead, Jaina simply touched his shoulder. It was a weird feeling; she was after all a ghost but it was a soothing feeling; like she was still with him and had never left. [i] I know you miss you, Jag. The dead can feel when people in this life miss them...I miss you, too. I'll always miss you. [/i]  
  
Jag turned to her, "Why? Why did you have to be shot down....?"  
  
Jaina shrugged, [i] You think I wanted to be shot down, Jagged Fel? I was careful but something went wrong...Look, Jag I came here to talk to you about what's going to happen tomorrow. [/i]  
  
"I don't want to talk about that, Jaina..."  
  
[i] You have to because it's important. Not only tomorrow but the rest of your life...I know it's something you probably don't want to hear but you have to. Jag, you will move on and you'll find love again. I promise you you'll never be alone. I'll spare you that pain. [/i]  
  
He looked into her eyes; he wanted to be angry with her but he couldn't. "You were my true love, Jaina. My life was supposed to be spent with you and you only. I know that now, but moving on? That'll never happen."  
  
She smirked,[i] "Oh, it'll happen. Not right away, of course, but it'll happen and you'll fall in love again. Just to let you know, I won't be jealous as long as you're happy and not wasting your life. I don't want you to waste your life, Jag. You need to live it and find happiness. [/i] Jaina stood up, smiling at him, [i] I have to go now, but I'll always be watching over you, my love. Goodbye, Jag [/i]  
  
"Jaina, no, don't go!" he cried but it was too late; her ghost had already disappeared and he was alone again.  
  
the end 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1, Post 2  
  
10 Weeks Earlier  
  
Written in Jag's P.o.V  
  
Ever have one of those feelings something was going to happen and that you would have no control over? I've been having that feeling all week, but I don't know what it is supposed to be. Jaina would know, she and her family feel everything through the Force. Now is probably one of those times I wished I had her sixth sense, as I would call it.  
  
I had been listening in on a conference my Uncle and Gavin were giving. Funny thing, I wasn't even paying attention because I staring at Jaina for the last hour. A small smile curled my lips, thinking about her. We were already in a very serious relationship for a couple months now. And yes, everyone knew we were serious. Gavin had his reservations about us, but my Uncle convinced it was harmless.  
  
Jaina huffed, glancing at the chrono behind Wedge's head. Even if she wasn't acting a spoiled goddess I knew she really was tired of all the talk and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Sleep. That was a new concept. When was the last time I had a full night of sleep? I had always been on call.I.  
  
I frowned as Jaina stood up, smiling at Gavin and Wedge, "No offense but I'm turning in. You mortals are boring me and a cranky goddess needs her sleep," She turned to me, "Escort me back to my quarters, mortal?"  
  
I tried not to smile as I stood up, bowing to her. Jaina only rolled her eyes, not really impressed by my manner and walked out of the conference room.  
  
~~  
  
Once we were a safe distance away from the conference room, Jaina grabbed my belt and dragged me into a closet and shut the door using the Force. I laughed, staring into her mischievous eyes as she stared back at me. I thought she was going to kiss me but instead she traced the curve of my jaw. I caught her thumb and kissed it.  
  
"Jaina, what are you doing? What are we doing?" I asked.  
  
She laughed to herself, whispering, "I just wanted to remember you the way you are right now.I, uh, there's something I have to tell you, Jag. It's very important."  
  
I smiled, making her look at me, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Jaina. You can tell me anything."  
  
"I know I can.It's just.things are more complicated now. The thing I have to tell you about, I, uh. I think I'm pregnant. I think I'm pregnant with your child."  
  
What?! Pregnant? Am I ready? Is she ready? Are we ready? Of course, that goes back to question one. "Do you know for sure? Have you tested?"  
  
Jaina shrugged, "No, it's a Jedi thing. Just the feeling that someone else is there with you when you know you're the only one in the room," she paused, looking at me again, "Are you mad?"  
  
I smiled, lightly caressing her cheek, "Why would I be mad? Jaina, I love you. I have always loved you and now we're going to have a family together. There's a little part of me in you. How can I be mad about that?" Jaina smiled as I kissed her passionately and hugged her.  
  
tbc  
  
Chapter 1, Post 3  
  
How exactly does one approach Han Solo about his only daughter becoming pregnant? Jaina and I were not married, but Han did know we had a serious relationship. He has acknowledged me as Jaina's boyfriend, well, love interest, but never boyfriend. Boyfriend meant commitment, commitment, which lead to the second level of relationships and then the final step, marriage and family. And Han wasn't ready for that. Leia, I was sure, wouldn't mind becoming a grandmother but Han, oh no.  
  
As far as I knew, the rest of the family liked me or was forced to like me. Jaina's Uncle Luke was a friend of my Uncle, so they were pretty close and Mara.I didn't really know where Mara stood. I knew she didn't like Kyp Durron and if she were given the chance or the 'go' from Luke, she'd take her lightsaber and kill him. Jacen was with us now. He'd returned to us two years earlier. After he was situated back into his old quarters, I'd taken the time and talked to him. It was strange between us at first. He didn't really know me because all he did know was that I was dating his sister. Naturally, Jaina was all we talked about because there wasn't any other common ground.  
  
My mind returning to the present, I frowned, staring at the door in front of me. Maybe this was a bad idea. Han never really liked me. He was forced to like me for Jaina's sake. Maybe I should have brought her along to keep things calm. What are those Jedi exercises Jaina does to calm herself? Meditation. I could to that but it would look weird if I suddenly decided to sit down in the hall and start meditating.  
  
No, I need to do this now. I breathed slowly as my thumb reached up the com pad. Before contact was even made, the door swooshed open and I stood there, staring at Leia. She was expecting me? Did she know I was coming to tell Han something? Was it a Jedi thing to know someone was coming? Maybe she did it to ease my worry? Or maybe she felt my anxiety on her side and couldn't take it anymore. Jedi were empathetic.  
  
"Jag, come in," Leia smiled, moving aside as I walked slowly into the apartment.  
  
I had been inside Han and Leia's apartment once. I was there with Jaina. Jaina decided she couldn't hide from her parents anymore, especially Han and needed to tell them about us. Leia accepted me but Han, as I had said, never really did. That was three years ago. Leia walked to the counter, grabbing a glass of water, "Jag, why have you come?" she asked.  
  
I shrugged, "Um, I need to talk to your husband. It's about Jaina."  
  
"Han's not here right now. He's working on the Falcon. He left about 10 hours ago although to him it probably seems like he'd been there for one hour," Leia mused, "What did you want to talk to Han about? You said it was something about Jaina?"  
  
"Yes, it is. You said he's working on the Falcon, which docking bay is he in?"  
  
Leia shrugged, "I think 87. Seriously, what's going on with Jaina? Jag, whatever it is, you don't have to wait to tell Han. Besides, if it's really bad news, it would be a good idea to tell me first. I can relay the information to Han in a calmly manner. He won't lose his temper in front of me if it involves Jaina."  
  
I huffed, "Can I havea drink too, then?"  
  
Leia smirked, grabbing an extra glass and filled it with water and handed it to me. "This must be serious."  
  
"It is, Leia. It's very serious. Jaina and I have been seeing each other for three years now. We're very serious ----."  
  
Leia froze, a smile tickling her mouth as it made an 'O' shape, "You're going to propose to her, aren't you? And you came here to ask Han for his blessing? If that's it, I'll give you my half of the blessing."  
  
"Thank you, but that's not it.Jaina's pregnant."  
  
I watched as Leia's 'O' shape mouth turned into a frown, "Jaina's pregnant? That is big. I guess it was a good thing I was here. Because if Han were here, he'd have your head!"  
  
"Do you really think he would?" I asked.  
  
"Jag, he sleeps with his gun. Not with him, but he always has it beside him in case there's an intruder." I started to laugh, believing she was just scaring me but she didn't laugh. "Jag, you need to leave. I'll talk to Han when he gets back."  
  
tbc  
  
Chapter 1, Post 4  
  
Present  
  
Still laying in his bed, Jagged Fel stared blankly at the ceiling. After he 'saw' Jaina, he felt the need to be drunk to dull his pain. Luke offered to talk to him but he refused. As a Jedi Master and Jaina's Uncle, Luke was obligated to talk to Jag about her death and 'moving on'. But Jag didn't want to move on. Jaina wanted him to move on, well, her spirit wanted him to move on but he wasn't ready.  
  
Jag wearily sat up, looking around the apartment. He shared it with Jaina. Part of him did want to move but there was still that small part of him that was having trouble letting go. She was his lifeline. He'd been so happy when he was with her. Now, she was gone and he was expected to move on.  
  
He huffed, glancing down at Jaina's lightsabre sitting on the night stand. Luke gave it to him to hold for Jaina, but what was the point of that? He couldn't use it for anything. Jag wasn't a Jedi; he was a pilot. He frowned, looking carefully at it.  
  
Maybe he could use it -not for play of course...It wouldn't be a pilot's death but everything would stop. He would cease to exist and he wouldn't feel anything. No one would know because everyone would think he was still grieving.  
  
Jag touched it's hilt, his thumb hovering over the ignite switch. No one would know he was gone. It was the perfect death...  
  
Jag, don't! Jaina cried, piercing his ears. Jag, you can't kill yourself to dull your pain.  
  
Jag let go of the lightsabre, dropping it onto the bed. He glared at the ceiling, "You can't tell me how to grieve, Jaina!"  
  
Jag, it isn't right.  
  
He grunted, "Like I care what's right anymore. I've lost everything...I couldn't even protect you."  
  
Jag, what happened to me was my fault. Not yours. Stop blaming yourself. Jaina retorted. Talk to my Uncle. You need to talk to him, anyone, just don't kill yourself. Please Jag, do it for me.  
  
"You realize you weren't the only one I lost...but our child, too. I never even saw her face or had the chance to name her." He expected Jaina to say something but she was quiet. "I looked forward to being a father, Jaina. It was time for me to settle down and have a family of my own...have a family with you."  
  
I know, she cried. But Jag, we're happy where we are now. And she's so beautiful. Ya know, she looks a little bit like you.  
  
"That's comforting. The daughter I never knew and she looks like me."  
  
Jag, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop whining. You still have a life to live. Please, move on. Do it for me, for our daughter.  
  
Jag nodded, looking at the ceiling again, "How can I move on when you're not with me?"  
  
You don't have to worry about that. I'll always be with you.  
  
tbc 


	3. Chapter 2

The Funeral  
  
Chapter 2, Post 1  
  
Leia Solo tried not to seem nervous as she approached the Falcon. She told me she'd face Han herself but I couldn't leave her alone. I decided to follow her and to sit quietly in my claw craft with the speakers on so I could hear what they were saying.  
  
Han grunted, coming down the Falcon's ramp with a box of miscellaneous tools. He saw Leia, turned around and set the tools aside, facing her again.  
  
"Han, we need to talk. It's about Jaina," Leia started. She paused briefly and turned. I shrieked, dodging my head as she looked around the bay. She knew I was there, her Jedi instincts told her I was there. Leia shook her head, looking at her husband again.  
  
Han wiped his greasy hands, tossing the towel aside as he walked over and sat on some crates. "What about Jaina? Is she in trouble?"  
  
"No, she's not in trouble. Actually, what I have to tell you is more about her relationship with Jagged Fel."  
  
Han immediately stood up, towering over Leia, "Has he hurt her?"  
  
"No, he hasn't hurt her," Leia retorted, "Why would he hurt Jaina? He loves her...and their love has grown a lot since they first met."  
  
"It's been hard to ignore that part," he mumbled, then looked straight at her, "Wait a minute. Leia, what exactly are you saying?"  
  
She smiled, "Jaina's pregnant!"  
  
Han stood there for a moment, staring at his wife. He glanced down at his holster and patted his gun. "Stay here. I'll be right back," he mused, bypassing her, not even acknowledging her presence.  
  
Leia frowned, racing after her husband as he calmly left the bay. As she head for the door, I pulled her aside. She glared at me, rolling her eyes, "Jag, what are you doing here? I told you I was going to handle Han myself."  
  
I shrugged, "I know but I wanted to be here if things got out of hand."  
  
"Well,you better make yourself scarce again because Han wants your head!"  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 2, Post 2  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"Jag, what are you doing here?" Jaina cried as I slipped through the door. Jaina had to know, she deserved to know what happened. "You know my father is looking for you, right?" She knew already? Did Leia stop by and warn her? Maybe it's a Jedi thing.  
  
I shrugged, "I know, that's why I had to see you. I stopped by your parents earlier. I wanted to talk to Han personally about our little situation."  
  
Jaina breathed hard, nervously shaking her head. "No, no, no! Jag, tell me you he wasn't there? Was he there?"  
  
"No, he wasn't," I murmured, "But your mother was. She thought I'd come over to ask Han for you hand --- but then I told her you were pregnant and Leia decided to talk to your father herself," I paused quietly, looking into her brown eyes for answers. "Jaina, are you angry with me?"  
  
I wanted to touch her face, but it seemed like she wasn't even there. Her mind was somewhere else. I bent my head down, slowly touching her chin with my hand. Finally, she looked at me and smiled, "I'm sorry if I zoned out on you there.I just, you want to merry me?"  
  
I smiled, bent down further and kissed her forehead, "Marriage usually comes before a family, but we lucked out in that area. Jaina Solo, will you be my wife?"  
  
"I don't know what to say; everything is happening so quickly." she cried, reaching up and touching my face, "I'm almost scared. Jag, what if tomorrow never comes.I don't want to lose you."  
  
I wanted so much to kiss away her pain but all I could offer her was my embrace. I shrugged, holding her in my arms as I stroked her hair. I watched the small brown strands glide through my fingers. Her heartbeat was so calm --- I wished I could use the Force to hear my child's heartbeat. She was real; my angel was real. "Jaina, you'll never loose me. I swear it. My life, my destiny is with you. This child is our life now, you are my life now."  
  
"You've become my life too, Jag," she whispered, "Jag, our lives have always been connected by the Force.And now we're even more connected than before because of our daughter." Jaina smiled, "Yes, I will marry you."  
  
tbc The Funeral  
  
Chapter 2, Post 3  
  
By obi's girl  
  
With the hilt of the lightsaber slapping against his thigh, Jagged Fel paced himself as he walked to Luke's quarters. At the funeral, he didn't want to talk about Jaina's death with anyone but a few minutes ago, he'd almost killed himself to end his own pain. He needed to talk to Luke. Jag stopped, staring at the door. Was he ready to talk about what happened to her? Jag wasn't sure, but he was certain he couldn't deal with the grief on his own.  
  
Jag didn't even remember touching the com pad as he stared back at the Jedi Master. Luke stood there, still in dressed in black "I didn't know it was tradition for Jedi Masters to wear black days after a Jedi burial," he whispered.  
  
Luke shrugged, "I think meditation is a more of a traditional way of dealing with grief but this seems more appropriate," he paused, "You want to talk?"  
  
"I need to talk."  
  
~~  
  
"I know I'm not a Jedi," Jag started as Mara settled down on the couch with 2-year-old Ben, "But I still feel her, like 'it' didn't even happen. Does that make sense?"  
  
Mara shrugged, "It's natural to feel that way, Jag," she started, "It's human nature to deny that something never happened when it actually did, so we can still hold onto the memories of those passed."  
  
Jag nodded, "No, it's so much more than that.I saw her. It happened after the funeral when I wanted to be alone to grieve."  
  
Mara was about to say something else but felt she couldn't. The family had already been through so much, loosing Jaina just made things more clear that all of them were susceptible to death, and no one was safe. She frowned, glancing at her husband.  
  
Luke huffed, remembering Ben Kenobi appear to him shortly after he died. Seeing ghosts of lost Jedi wasn't strange. For Jedi, it was the norm but Luke felt there was more to Jaina's visit. "What did she say to you?"  
  
"She said all the things I didn't want to hear - that it wasn't my fault and that I needed to move on," he grunted, "But how can I move on with all that I've lost? I've not only lost Jaina but I lost our daughter, the daughter I'll never know. How am I supposed to get over that?"  
  
"Jag," Mara started, "Let me tell you something. Ben, my son, almost wasn't born because of the disease created by the Vong. I was in remission because of Vergere's tears but after I ran out, I began to make the tears myself. It proved disastrous later because my body rejected the tears, threatening Ben's life."  
  
Luke smiled, "But I held onto to the both of them because I wasn't willing to gain a son but lose a wife. I couldn't lose Mara or Ben - so we joined together. With our combined strength, Ben was born."  
  
"Master Luke, Jaina was only 10 months pregnant. She couldn't go through what you described. The baby wasn't mature yet.."  
  
He nodded, "We know, but what we're saying is."  
  
"What my husband is trying to say is, maybe the reason you were spared and not Jaina is because you were meant for something else, that your destiny lies somewhere else."  
  
"You're saying I wasn't destined to live my life with Jaina? That I wasn't right for her and that maybe I should just leave and return to Chiss? Is that what you're saying?" Jag cried.  
  
"No Jag, that's not what we're saying," Luke answered, "You and Jaina loved each other very deeply. The Force agreed and gave you a child but what we're saying is that maybe you were left behind for another purpose."  
  
Jag nodded, "So Jaina shot down instead of me because the Force has greater plans for me? It's a stupid plan, whatever it is because the one person that should be here isn't," he shouted, "I need to go."  
  
Mara handed Ben to Luke, standing up as Jag stalked to the door, "Jag wait, there's someone you should meet tomorrow. She's a grief counselor; her name is Celeste Raven. She'll be in the pilot's lounge."  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 2, Post 4  
  
By obi's girl  
  
When I was a younger man, marriage, children and a family was the farthest thing from my mind. I dreamt about commanding my own squadron and doing what I could to keep the galaxy safe. Every night before going to bed, my mother would tell me a story about the Republic and sometimes about my Uncle Wedge.  
  
She would always pause a moment, thinking about him.the fact that she left him without really getting the chance to know him still haunted her.  
  
She blamed herself for leaving him but never talked very much about him but Jag knew she missed him. It wasn't until I was older, in my twenties that she began to think about writing to him.  
  
Syal Antilles has been in the Republic only one time in her life and it was very brief, a matter of months. She'd fallen in love with my father and they left the Republic and moved to Chiss. My siblings and I weren't born yet but over time, pieces of her past fell into place. When my father attended the academy, he was friends with Han Solo and Uncle Wedge was a good friend of Luke Skywalker.  
  
Now, I was engaged to the niece of Luke Skywalker and daughter of Han Solo. I smiled and then frowned, technically I wasn't an official part of the Skywalker/Solo line but they had become my family, too.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Jaina asked as she rested her head on my chest.  
  
I shrugged, "I was just --- how did you manage growing up?" Jaina lifted her head and looked at me curiously, "I mean, the name. Your family, they were heroes of the Republic. They were legends long before you and your brothers were born. I was just wandering, how you were able to deal with that?"  
  
"Definitely a lot of pressure. I know there was a lot of pressure on mom because she was continuing the family line.They'd already gone through so much.I guess, as kids, Jacen, Anakin and I never really worried about it too much. We never let it bother us. We were kids, Jag - but as we grew up, of course, it became more important. And with war going on, everyone expected us to become the new heroes of the next generation."  
  
"We're not a rich family, Jag but very well-known. It gets kinda bothersome sometimes because the media scrutinizes everything we do, especially when Jacen, Anakin and I were younger.why are you curious about this?"  
  
I shrugged, "I'm going to be a part of this family now. There's going to be a lot of expectations of me."  
  
Jaina smiled and kissed my forehead, "Don't worry about it, Jag. Don't worry about what will be expected of you, just be you."  
  
I was about to say something but someone COM'd the door. Jaina moaned, standing up and walked to the door. She checked the ID. Her eyes suddenly widened as she turned to me.  
  
I stared at her for a moment before Jaina rushed from the door, grabbed my arm and pushed me towards her closet. "Sorry honey, but this is for your own good..."  
  
"Wait a minute, Jaina. Who is it?" I cried, I actually had a feeling whom it was but I needed to hear it from her.  
  
"No time," she mused as she twirled around, facing her father. I gulped, staring back at Han Solo. He growled, staring back at me, his hands dangling over his holster. I glanced at Jaina and huffed.  
  
A moment later, Leia arrived, short of breath. Jaina glanced at me, smiled and then walked towards her father. "Dad, what are you doing here?"  
  
What was she doing? She knew why he was there? My frown deepened as I watched Jaina. She seemed to innocent, well, was trying to play innocent. Leia looked at me and shrugged, she tried to reason with him but he left her, looking for me.  
  
"I know, Jaina.I know everything," he whispered, glaring at me again.  
  
Jaina shrugged, "What are you talking about, dad?"  
  
Han smiled, laughing a bit, crossing his arms, "What am I talking about? Jaina, don't play games with me. I know you're pregnant and Fel's the reason for it!" Leia stepped forward, lightly grabbing hold of his arm. He glared at her too but she didn't back down, "You're going to defend him too?"  
  
"Han, this is ridiculous! You knew Jag and Jaina were serious, I don't know why this new revelation is such a big deal.He's not abandoning her. In fact, he wants to merry her!" Leia boasted but frowned when she realized saying that probably wasn't the best coarse of action.  
  
Han raised a finger to my face, "You better merry her, Fel and make her happy 'cuz if she's not happy, I'm not happy and then you'll have to deal with me."  
  
I frowned, glancing at Jaina. Twisted around, it sounded like Han had given me his blessing, although he probably meant for it to scare me. Jaina realized this too and smiled, locking her arm through mine. "He will make me happy, dad and if he doesn't, you don't have to deal with him.I will." She nudged me in the stomach and I smiled, bracing her shoulder.  
  
We both hugged each other, smiling like idiots. Han stood there for a moment, staring at us and then backed down, straightening his jacket. He looked at Leia, she was trying not to smile but she couldn't help it. "All right, all right Fel. Welcome to the family, I guess."  
  
Han smiled himself, but it was forced. Leia hit his stomach and Han brought his hand up, extending it to me. I glanced at Jaina; she only smiled, wanting me to take his hand. I shrugged, gripping it firmly. We both smiled at each other and then Han let go.  
  
"Well, I guess I can call you 'dad' now, huh?" I laughed as his strained smile suddenly turned into a frown. "Or not."  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 2, Post 5  
  
Celeste Raven tried to keep a straight face as she walked into the famed "Rogues & Wraith" pilot lounge. Always stuck in her office, this was one of the few times Celeste had been able to leave to counsel a patient. The military required her to stay on base and work from their medical facility but after she heard about Fel's case, she begged her boss to let her leave the office so she could do her work. Finally, after a time, he let her go.  
  
Celeste wrinkled her nose, life was certainly different from being stuck behind a desk.  
  
She'd heard about Jaina Solo's death via HoloNet news from a counsel in the building in which she worked. Every day she would pass it and glance at it but this was the one time, the news grabbed her attention. She knew about the Skywalker/Solo family; she'd heard that Han and Leia had lost both their sons earlier on in the war. Jaina, their daughter was their last child.  
  
Celeste tried to get hold of the family but they remained quiet, except for Mara Jade Skywalker, Jaina's aunt. Mara accepted her invitation to talk. She told her Celeste mostly about Jagged Fel, her niece's fiancé. Even though he was born on Chiss and trained to control his emotions, like a Jedi, he really didn't know how to deal with his own grief and Mara suggested to her that she meet with him.  
  
Now, Celeste was sitting at the bar, waiting to meet with Jagged Fel. She huffed, turning to the bartender, "Excuse me bartender, I'm looking for Colonel Jagged Fel."  
  
He shrugged, "A lot of pilots come through here, ma'am. It's hard to keep track of all of them, but I'm sure if you ask around, you'll find him."  
  
Celeste smiled, "Thank you," and turned away from the bar. "Well, this should be interesting if not fun," she mused.  
  
"Excuse me," a voice asked. Celeste turned to her right, facing a man with black hair and dark eyes. "You're looking for Jagged Fel?"  
  
"Yes, I am. Are you...?"  
  
He smiled, "No, but Jag's my nephew. I'm Wedge Antilles."  
  
"Celeste Raven, grief counselor. Tell me, do you know where your nephew is?"  
  
Wedge shrugged, "Probably debating on whether if he should show...You said you're a grief counselor? Would you mind if I talk to you while you wait?"  
  
"No, not at all."  
  
Wedge smiled, fingering his glass, "I need to talk to someone..." He gestured to his drink, "I figured it was better to drink my sorrows away, but I found it really hasn't been helping much," he paused, "I'd known Jaina since she was a little baby. I knew her brothers, too. They'd always get into so much trouble...Even when they were small, it was easy to tell what they would become later in life. Jaina, she loved to fly. It was her dream to fly with the Rogue Squadron."  
  
"It's all right,"  
  
"She was so happy when she became a member...that's when she met Jag. He wasn't with the squadron but his squadron saved her and some pilots from some skips. They had a special connection then, a love that carried through all these years."  
  
Celeste frowned and sat back, "I'm sorry, but you said she was a part of the Rogue Squadron. I thought she was a part of the Twin Suns squadron?"  
  
"She was a member of both squadrons. In the beginning of the war, she was with the Rogues but after her brothers' died, she left the Rogues...and there was all that goddess stuff and given command of her own squadron."  
  
"Oh," she mumbled and then looked up at him again, "I also heard she was pregnant. Was that true?"  
  
"She was," Jag answered, confronting Celeste and his Uncle, "You're Celeste Raven?"  
  
She smiled, "Yes, I am. Sorry but I was looking for you and your Uncle happened to be sitting next to me," Celeste turned to Wedge, "If you want to talk some more, leave your apartment number and I'll drop by when I have the chance."  
  
"That would be good," Wedge replied, grabbing a pen from his pocket and a napkin, scribbling his number and building name. As he stood, Wedge looked at his nephew and smiled. "Ya know, it would be good for you to stop by sometime and see your cousins."  
  
Jag didn't reply, ignoring him. Wedge frowned again, looking at Celeste and left.  
  
"So, you have cousins. How old are they?" Celeste ventured as he sat down.  
  
Jag shrugged, "Ten and twelve, I think. Wedge named one his daughters after my mother, his sister, Syal Antilles."  
  
Celeste smiled, "You ever visit them?" she asked.  
  
"I did once after I arrived on Coruscant for the first time. Wedge invited me over for dinner and afterwards, I got to play with his two girls."  
  
"I have two nieces. They're older now, 16 and 21. But when they were younger, they were soo cute and..."  
  
"No offense doc, but what is this?" Jag interrupted.  
  
Celeste frowned, "I find it easier to relate to my patients if I know a little something about them..."  
  
"No, I mean this. Shouldn't you be asking me questions or telling me how to deal with my grief?"  
  
Celeste nodded, smirking a bit, "Jag, I am counseling you. I just wanted to get a feel for what type of family guy you are,"  
  
Jag shrugged, "Before the funeral, not many people knew she was pregnant. Her parents and Uncle know, but no one else. We both figured it would be safer if less people knew."  
  
Celeste smiled, leaning forward, "What was she like? Jaina, what was she like?"  
  
"Stubborn," Jag grunted and then laughed, "Funny, that's the first thing I would say about her, considering I loved her very much. But she was stubborn."  
  
"It's not bad to admit a negative quality about a loved one passed away," Celeste whispered, "Sometimes it's better to get the negative out of the way first. That way, it'll be easier later."  
  
He shrugged, "I suppose so." Jag huffed, looking at Celeste, really looked at her. She was very beautiful, dark shoulder-length brown hair and dark blue eyes. She looked like she could have been in her early twenties but nowhere near her thirties.  
  
"Jag, are you listening to me?" Celeste's voice broke through his reverie.  
  
"Sorry Celeste...ya know what, can we continue this therapy session later? I'm kinda out of it."  
  
She smiled, "Sure. Of course."  
  
tbc 


	4. Chapter 3

The Funeral  
  
Chapter 3, Post 1  
  
By obi's girl  
  
A small smile curled my lips as I watched Jaina sleep beside me. She looked so peaceful; at rest I was scared to wake her. Her hand rested protectively on her stomach.She probably knew everything about her there was to know, what she would be like, her personality. I wished I knew but I can only dream. Maybe she'll be like Jaina, maybe she'll have Jaina's love for flying. Maybe she won't be a tomboy like her mother but love to dress up and look pretty like all girls.  
  
Or maybe she'll be a little bit of both, or maybe she'll have my dry humor. I frowned, or maybe not. Most guys like a girl with humor, not humor like her father!  
  
Jaina moaned, turning over carefully. Her hand fell from her stomach and rested in the space between us. I wanted to pick up her hand and place it carefully over her stomach again but I didn't want to wake her.  
  
"Too late," she mused, smiling up at me, "I've been awake for a long time. I just didn't want to interrupt your reverie."  
  
I shrugged, whispering, "You ever wander what she'll be like?"  
  
Jaina huffed, placing her hand again on her stomach, "What mother doesn't wander what her first child be will like? But I know she won't love dresses and acting all pretty."  
  
I laughed, raising my elbow and resting my head on my hand, "Why not?"  
  
"Because, " she squirmed, "No daughter of mine is going to be an 'Ooh, did you see that boy? He's so hot," kind of girl." Jaina twirled her hair for effect, rolling her eyes.  
  
"So, you'd rather her be like you? Personality wise?"  
  
Jaina grunted, "Why not like me? I was never like that, although mom did always want me to be proper. But I think I was mostly a tomboy growing up because of Jacen and Anakin. Oooh, you will not believe how horrible and terrifying it is having two brothers."  
  
I shrugged, "I can't believe it was horrible for you."  
  
"Of course I loved them but as the only female sibling, I could never really talk them about boys, crushes; it would just be too weird."  
  
"So what are you saying? After this one, you want another girl so our daughter can have a sister and won't have to grow up like you?" I asked, smirking. "Frankly, I wouldn't mind a boy but another girl would be nice."  
  
Jaina rolled her eyes, "Whatever, it just wasn't easy. I had to be masculine and in control of my emotions all the time.I was never allowed to be a girl because they were always watching me and expected me to be 'tomboy Jaina,' not I 'just wanted to be a girl Jaina.'"  
  
I frowned, staring at her, "I never realized you felt that way; I guess it is hard having brothers and not one girl to talk to."  
  
She huffed, resting her head on the crook of my neck, "Ya know, I never thought about this growing up.No, let's talk about something else. We're having a girl, end of subject and she's gonna hate the idea of dresses and always looking pretty. Let's talk about names."  
  
"Oooh, the dreaded search for names. I don't think I'm ready for that one yet."  
  
Jaina frowned, looking at me again and smiled, "You haven't thought of a name, have you? That's it!"  
  
I shrugged, "To be honest, no I haven't. I haven't really thought of a name for her because I figured you would and I would agree to whatever you decided."  
  
"A name is very important, Jag. She's our daughter; this has to be a joint effort. You can't leave these type of things all up to me, not that I wouldn't mind," she answered.  
  
"Fine," I murmured and then smiled proudly, "Lessa."  
  
Jaina looked at me curiously and started laughing, "Lessa? You'd name our daughter Lessa?"  
  
I shrugged, frowning, "What's wrong with Lessa?"  
  
"It just sounds.I don't know. I just don't like it," she retorted, "Okay, my choice now. Cerene." I started laughing and Jaina frowned, "What's wrong with Cerene?"  
  
"It's like Lessa," I mumbled, "Jaina, sweetheart, we want our daughter to be proud of her name and have people tell her it's a beautiful name. Not make fun of her because her name is so plain."  
  
Jaina fumed, growling at me, "So you don't like my name because it's plain?!"  
  
I frowned, why did I say that? Oh boy hormones. I smiled, "No sweetheart I love your name, I couldn't picture you with another name.Oh, I got it! Elyssa. Ha?"  
  
Jaina simply nodded, rolling her eyes again, "Oh, this is wonderful! We can't even agree on a name. That's it, she'll just be baby Solo-Fel."  
  
I frowned, thinking hard for a moment and smiled, "How about Cherith?"  
  
Jaina frowned, staring at me, "Cherith? But that's your sister's name.Are you sure you want her name to be Cherith? I wouldn't object but are you sure?"  
  
"I think, I think she wouldn't mind. Cherith wouldn't mind especially since our daughter will be her niece," I whispered, smiling, "Yes, Cherith Solo- Fel. That'll be her name and you said you wouldn't object."  
  
"Cherith," she whispered, "Cherith. Her name will be Cherith then but no slash between last names."  
  
I shrugged, "You mean no slash between Solo and Fel? I can live with that." I smiled again, holding Jaina close to me and whispered, "Cherith Solo Fel, our daughter."  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 3, Post 2  
  
By obi's girl  
  
A/N: Jag is still a tortured man   
  
Jagged Fel raked a hand through his hair as he walked back into his apartment and fell on his bed, slapping his face into his pillow. He moaned, rolling over and sitting up briefly, removing the lightsaber from his belt. He didn't know why he always kept it --he didn't have any use for it. Jag wasn't a Jedi...  
  
The only purpose it served was to remind of him what he lost and what he couldn't hold onto. Jag growled, looking away from the silver cylinder. "Blasted thing!" he cursed. Jag closed his eyes, trying to fight back the pain and memories. "People tell me to let go but I can't do that, Jaina..." He started and then looked around the dark apartment.  
  
Nothing was there, he was alone but her presence was there. He knew it was, or maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. "There's nothing there, Fel," he whispered, standing up from the bed and walking to the fresher. As the water ran, he stared at himself in the mirror.  
  
His cheeks were rough; he hadn't taken the time to shave after the funeral. A couple more weeks and he'd have a full beard. Jag huffed, grabbing a shaver from the drawer beside him. He let the water run over the shaver and then brought it to his face.  
  
After awhile, his cheeks were smooth again. He tried to smile but it was still too painful. He shrugged, cleaning the shaver, dried it and then put it back in the drawer.  
  
That's better, a voice whispered.  
  
Jaina didn't need to turn around to know it was she. He just stood there, staring back at Jaina's blue reflection. "I was wandering what happened to you."  
  
Sorry...I've just been busy. I've meeting a lot of Jedi up here...even my brothers, she shrugged, So how did your meeting with the grief counselor go?  
  
"Alright, I guess...I was a bit late meeting her but Wedge was there to keep her company," he mumbled and then smiled somewhat, "Weren't you watching?"  
  
Jaina smiled, No, I wasn't watching but I'm glad you met with her. She paused, still smiling, She's really special.  
  
Jag frowned, turning to her finally, "Wait a minute. Don't tell me she's the one you want me to hook up with?"  
  
Why not? Jaina retorted, Jag, you need to be happy. I won't have you moping around and blaming yourself for my death.  
  
"I do blame yourself for your death; I carry the grief inside me all the time. Even this place, our apartment, there are so many memories for me here but I need those memories to survive, Jaina. I'm not ready to let go." he retorted.  
  
Jaina was silent a moment, Jag, this path of depression with destroy you if you continue down this road. I don't want that to happen to you! she cried.  
  
"That's my choice Jaina, not yours," he retorted, "Look, just leave me alone. Please, just leave me alone."  
  
Jaina huffed, looking down, Then this has to be the last time I'll see you...That's one of the reasons why I was busy, she paused, I talked to the Council and they urged me to stop these visits because it isn't good for you. You?fre not getting any better, and I think if I'm not here, it'll be better too.  
  
Jag frowned, looking at her, "You're not coming back?"  
  
How can I? I don't want to cause you any more pain. So, this is goodbye my love Jaina smiled bitterly, Goodbye then.  
  
Jag was quiet as he watched her blue silhouette disappear and the room was dark again...and silent.  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 3, Post 3  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Celeste huffed, going over Jaina Solo's personal file. Before she left to meet with Jag, she'd requested information about her. She'd assumed there would be some file about her death; the overall coronary report but there wasn't one. However, there was a written statement about the accident.  
  
Her X-wing was being chased by several skips and one of them got lucky, striking her left wing. She tried to compensate but she couldn't and her x- wing spun out of control, spiraling through space until it disappeared.  
  
She put the file down briefly. Jag must have assumed since her x-wing was out of control she was dead already...but what if she wasn't? The military assumed her dead. Jag had requested a search to bring her body back. He did find her body -- her skin was charred and blood smeared across her face.  
  
And then a couple days later, the funeral.  
  
Celeste scowled, it was a horrible death. She felt like crying but pushed her thoughts aside, hiding the file in her desk as Jag appeared. He smiled at her briefly and then walked in, frowning again. "If you won't mind, I changed my mind -- and I want to continue our conversation earlier."  
  
She smiled, "Of course. Sit down."  
  
Jag nodded, "I'd rather not..." He drifted off, gasping, "I saw Jaina." Celeste was about to say something but decided against it and allowed him to continue. "She said she couldn't see me anymore because it wasn't good for me. She said I wasn't getting better." he mused.  
  
"I have to agree with her," she interrupted, "The only way you'll get past all of this is without her comfort."  
  
Jag looked at her and laughed to himself, "She also said something else.about you but I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"You don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to," Celeste soothed.  
  
He shrugged, wandering around her office. Jag clasped his hands behind his back, lost in thought. He stopped, looking at one of her awards. It gave her full man. "Did you ever have a nickname?" Jag wandered.  
  
Celeste shrugged, "Celeste is my nickname. My full name is Celestine. Actually, I don't think I've ever had a real nickname. I was always Celeste," she paused, staring at him, "Why?"  
  
"When Jaina became a member of the Rogue Squadron, the pilots named her Sticks because she flew stick shift and they considered her lightsaber as another stick," he replied. Celeste laughed lightly, but tried to mask it. Unfortunately, Jag realized she was laughing and crossed his arms. "What's so funny, doc?"  
  
"It's nothing --- I really shouldn't but I was just wandering what your nickname was? I mean, what did Jaina call you besides Jag or Jagged Fel?" she mused, "If you don't mind, but I'm really curious."  
  
Jag grunted, rolling his eyes, "Men don't have nicknames. That's a female thing. Sorry doctor, Jaina never gave me a pet name or anything."  
  
"Hmm, I think she did give you a pet name, but you're too embarrassed to admit what it is,"  
  
Once again, Jag rolled his eyes and then looked at her, raising his finger, "You swear it won't leave this room..."  
  
"I swear," she smiled.  
  
Jag huffed again, "Jaggie. My nickname's Jaggie."  
  
Celeste stared at him a moment and then started laughing, "Oh, I'm sorry...it suits you very well. But honestly, I expected something a little more."  
  
"My turn. What's yours?" he asked, referring to her real nickname.  
  
Celeste was quiet a moment, "Celi and sometimes Celise. Celi was my nickname when I was a baby but as I grew older, I considered it too babish and people started calling me Celise instead. That's the honest truth." She paused, clearing her throat and then caught sight of the lightsaber on his belt. "Why do you carry that around with you?"  
  
Jag slapped his hip, "Luke Skywalker, Jaina's Uncle gave it to me to hold for her. I never understood why but I guess it's to keep it safe from other people," Jag removed the lightsaber from its clip and held it in his hand. He noticed it wasn't very heavy as he expected it to be. "I'd seen her once with it. She was practicing by herself in one the gyms.she glided so perfectly with it."  
  
"Why not just leave it to her parents or her aunt or uncle?"  
  
Jag shrugged, "Could have but I guess Luke figured I still needed some part of her to hold onto."  
  
"You can't hold on forever, Jag," she whispered, her voice almost lost to Jag.  
  
He turned to her, clipping the lightsaber again to his belt, "I realize that. Jaina wants me to let go but I can't just forget her. She died and everyone tells me to forget about her and move on, like her death didn't mean anything," he retorted, "None of them realize what I've lost! I lost not only her but our daughter, too.she never even had a chance. It's just not fair," Jag cried, "It's not fair."  
  
Celeste frowned, she wanted to reach out to him and hug him but she was scared to cross that boundary of emotions. "How do you know Jaina wants you to move on?" she asked.  
  
"What?" he echoed.  
  
"I asked, how you know Jaina wants you to move on?"  
  
Jag shrugged, "You'll think I'm crazy for this but after the funeral, I saw her ghost and she said she wanted me to move on. I've been seeing her off and on; other times I'd just hear her voice. But no one believes me. They probably don't believe me because seeing ghosts is a Jedi thing, and I'm not supposed to see her."  
  
"Do you want to see her? To believe she's still here?"  
  
"You know the answer to that, doc," Jag mumbled, "I don't have to tell you."  
  
Celeste shrugged, "I just asked because sometimes the unconscious wants to believe something when really it isn't the truth."  
  
He nodded, "No doc! I didn't imagine this. I saw her, I really saw her," he laughed, "I know you don't believe me."  
  
"I do," she whispered, "In Jedi lore, fallen Jedi do visit the living, mostly because of unfulfilled obligations or promises. It isn't uncommon amongst many cultures that believe that sort of thing."  
  
Celeste laughed to herself, "Sorry if I sound like an encylopedia...I'm just trying to help."  
  
Jag smiled, "I know you are.." he paused, hugging, "I don't know. Maybe not seeing Jaina anymore is good for me."  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 3, Post 4  
  
'Revelations'  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Jaina Solo tried to remain calm as she walked beside Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi's Master. She had been greeted by many upon her arrival, her brothers mostly, but Qui-Gon seemed to be the only one that understood how she felt about being there. She'd just come back from talking to Jag for the last time. It still hurt to say goodbye to him but what other choice did she have?  
  
'You did the right thing, Jaina,' he said, 'Even if you did lie to him. You did the right thing.'  
  
She shrugged, 'What else could I have done Master Jinn...? I couldn't let Jag destroy himself like that.'  
  
Qui-Gon was silent and then smiled at her, 'I saw your daughter today. I kept her preoccupied while you were gone.'  
  
Jaina smiled, 'I'd love to see Cherith but I'm just not ready yet.'  
  
'Jaina, she's your daughter, you need to see her. Cherith needs her mother.' he paused, crossing his arms under his cloak, 'I think it would be good for you both.'  
  
'Jacen and Anakin said the same thing...I don't know. Everyone's telling me to let go but I can't. I love Jag and it's killing me that the only boundary between that separates us is life and death,' she cried, 'I've told him he needs to move on and let go but I can't let go. Every time I've seen him, I've had to lie to his face about my feelings and I hate myself for it.'  
  
'You feel you shouldn't be here?' Qui-Gon questioned  
  
Jaina nodded, 'I don't belong here and neither does Cherith. Jag needs me and I need him desperately.'  
  
~~  
  
I need you, Jag's thoughts cried as he stared at the ceiling above his bed. He needed another drink to ease his sleep, but his mind cried for Jaina. Therapy, earlier that morning, helped a little. He laughed and smiled, something he hadn't done in a long time. But happiness was only temporary, Jag realized, happiness never lasts.  
  
He was expected to move on but there was no way he could forget what he lost. How can someone get over loosing a wife and daughter? Jag groaned, thinking of Han Solo, Jaina's father. Han's life was shattered now, broken because Jaina was his last child to die in this forsaken war. Jaina's two brothers had gone before her - he remembered she was devastated and angry.  
  
And Wedge.  
  
Wedge had known Jaina and her brothers since they were little kids, long before they wielded lightsabers and blasters. Wedge loved Jaina as if she were one of his own daughters. And of course, there was Lando Calrissian, Han's best friend. In the beginning, Lando had vied for Leia's hand but lost to Han.  
  
Tenel Ka, the Dathomerian, part Happen Queen was Jaina's best friend. Jag imagined, even though Tenel Ka wasn't able to make it to the service, she organized a grand funeral for her friend on Hapes.  
  
In the beginning, Jag believed he was the only one that was hurting, that no one else understood but he was wrong. Many people were affected by her death.  
  
That's why Wedge was in the bar that day drinking, Jag realized, he was mourning and I snubbed him. Jag frowned as he remembered that Wedge invited him to see his cousins. He said it would be good for him to see the girls; maybe he'd feel better. Jag smiled somewhat; Syal and Myri were very beautiful girls.  
  
Seeing Syal especially, would remind him of the daughter Jag would never know and again, he'd fall sorry for himself.  
  
Jag needed to stop feeling sorry for himself because he wasn't the only one suffering. So many others close to Jaina were hurting and grieving. Jag smiled to himself, grabbing Jaina's lightsaber and began to dress.  
  
~~  
  
Wedge Antilles moaned as he walked tiredly to the door. He'd been barely asleep and out of his clothes when someone started comming the door. He rushed to the door, lowering the volume on the speaker as to not wake the girls and Iella. "Yes, who is it?" he croaked, his voice still a bit itchy.  
  
I thought I'd take you up on that offer for dinner, Jag's jovial voice replied.  
  
Wedge's eyes darted to the door, "Jag, is that you?"  
  
He laughed, Of course, it is, Uncle Wedge, Wedge smiled as he unlocked the door, allowing his nephew to enter. It was very evident both men were trying to get to sleep but failed. "Mind if I come in?" Jag asked and Wedge stepped aside. Jag smiled, looking around the apartment. "This is a nice place."  
  
Wedge smiled, "Thank you. Please sit down," Jag mirrored his Uncle's smile, grabbing a counter stool. "Would you like anything? Food? Drink?"  
  
"Actually, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to see my cousins and aunt,"  
  
"Of course," Wedge replied, "Stay here and I'll be right back."  
  
Jag sat there for a while, looking around the apartment again. The living room was a bit messy, scattered with some toys and the den, of course, was cluttered with data pads and papers.  
  
"Jaggie!" Syal and Myri cried in unison as they ran from their parents and hugged Jag.  
  
Jag smiled, engulfing them in one big hug, "Hello girls."  
  
"We missed you," Syal cried, "How come you haven't come to see us anymore?"  
  
Jag glanced at Wedge. Judging from the expression on his face, Jag knew Wedge didn't or wasn't able to tell them about Jaina's death, which Jag understood. Jag looked away from his Uncle and smiled at Syal, "Well sweetheart, I've been going through a rough time and I needed to be alone."  
  
"Were you sad, Jaggie?" Myri asked.  
  
He shrugged, "No, I wasn't sad.I was just hurt."  
  
Syal frowned, almost as if feeling Jag's pain, "Why were you hurt?" she whispered.  
  
"I was hurt because someone very close to me ." he whispered and then perked up, "You know the Solo family?" They both nodded yes as he continued, "Well, one of their children was hurt. Jaina, she was in an accident and was hurt badly."  
  
"Is Jaina all right now? Is she better?" Syal cried.  
  
Jag smiled solemnly, touching the girls cheek, "Yeah, she's fine now. She's sleeping."  
  
"Sorry, you were hurt Jaggie," Myri added, "Hey, do you want to play? We know games."  
  
"No Myri.I think your parents want the two of you to get back to sleep," Jag whispered. He smiled, kissing Syal's cheek and imagined he was kissing his daughter's cheek. Syal smiled, hugging him again and kissed his cheek in return before taking her sister's hand and walking back to their room. Jag's smile remained as he watched both girls disappear. "They're so precious," he whispered.  
  
"Jag," Iella started, breaking away from Wedge, "Not that I don't mind you're here but why have you come?"  
  
Jag rose from the floor, facing his aunt, "There's something I need to tell you the two of you ---it's about Jaina."  
  
~~  
  
"We'd decided to keep it a secret --- only Han, Leia and Luke knew but since Jaina and I were almost married, I figured you deserved to know also," Jag finished.  
  
Iella bit her tongue, struggling to hold back her tears. Wedge rested his arm around his wife's neck but it didn't help. The tears won. "Pregnant? Jaina was pregnant when she died?" Iella echoed, "That baby was barely even mature and her life was cut short --- Jag, it's not fair."  
  
"I know it's not fair," he whispered, "but it's the truth."  
  
Wedge hugged his wife, looking at Jag again, "What would you have named her?"  
  
"Cherith. Jaina and I decided on Cherith, after my sister," he answered.  
  
"You realize I didn't even shed a tear when Jaina died," Iella added, "I mean I loved her too, of course, but now that I think about it, I must have seemed heartless."  
  
Jag shrugged, "I think everyone was still in shock during the funeral," he paused, "Listen, I wanted to tell you because I thought you deserved to know.and I wanted to see the girls."  
  
"Syal reminds you of Cherith, doesn't she?" Iella asked, "I mean I know you'll never know what she looks like, but when looking at her, makes you wander what she would have been like?"  
  
"Yes, I guess Syal does remind me of Cherith --- but surprisingly, it doesn't hurt that much anymore."  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 3, Post 4 (Alternative Post)  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"Look I know you can do it," Jaina cried, facing the Jedi Council, "Please, you have to send me back...I don't belong here. Cherith and I don't belong here, and it's not fair to Jag. He's in hell because I'm dead and I can't be there for him."  
  
Mace gasped, glancing at Master Yoda and then at Jaina's two brothers. Jacen shrugged but didn't say anything. "You both tried to talk to her?"  
  
"We tried, but she didn't listen. She never listens," Jacen mused, shrugging again.  
  
Mace was silent as Yoda stared at Jaina; she certainly was Anakin's granddaughter and very much a Solo. Jaina wasn't going to change her mind about this. "Know your feelings, do you?"  
  
She shrugged, "Master Yoda, I don't belong here...Jag will suffer down there...I won't allow him to destroy himself."  
  
"Happened before this has, in your family. Not that different, your story is from your grandfather's. Refused he did to believe Padme was dead because he knew she was still alive and in pain," Yoda paused, "Impossible this task is not. Done, it can be."  
  
Mace glanced at his Master and frowned, "No offense Master, but I disagree. It's too risky. What if something goes wrong and Jaina herself is affected?"  
  
"What would you rather me do? Watch them all suffer? I'm a Jedi, I can't do that. Listen, Jag said this war has been called the 2nd Jedi Purge and right now, I agree with him. I know, you really don't want that to happen again," Jaina cried, "Please, consider my words. Jag will destroy himself if I remain here."  
  
Yoda grunted, glancing at her brothers, "Come forward, both of you. What do you think about this? Right, do you think she is?"  
  
"I agree Jag doesn't know how to deal with his pain and will be seriously hurt if he doesn't get help, but I don't think it's wise for Jaina to return," Jacen stated as Jaina glared at him, nodding, "Sorry sis."  
  
Jaina frowned, looking down and then looked at her younger brother, "And you Anakin? What do you think?"  
  
Anakin smiled partially, "I think you should go. Love's a precious thing, Jaina. I know, Tahiri and I were barely given the chance to explore our relationship. I was just realizing my feelings for her before I died...What you and Jag have is very special. It has to be special. Otherwise Cherith wouldn't be here."  
  
"Decision has been made, it has. But meditate further we will on this, consequences we must consider." Yoda concluded.  
  
Jaina huffed, turning to leave but stopped briefly, glaring at Jacen but smiled at Anakin. At least one of my brothers is on my side, she thought.  
  
Once Jaina was gone, Jacen crossed his arms, glaring at his brother, "I honestly thought you would have backed me up, Anakin..."  
  
"Save it, Jacen," Anakin retorted, "You know also she doesn't belong here. They both don't belong here. I hypothesize with Jaina because I know how hard it was on Tahiri when I died...You think there wasn't anyone down there that cared very deeply for you that didn't feel hurt and betrayed when you died?"  
  
"Tenel Ka," he mused, "It wasn't fair to her either because she didn't have the time to grieve like everyone else..."  
  
Anakin smiled, "Exactly my point, brother. Everyone's telling Jag to move on and forget something happened, but he can't move on because he loved our sister very deeply. Sithspit Jacen, they had a daughter! You can't tell me Jaina shouldn't go back because it'll make matters worse, but she's gonna be miserable here and you know it. She'll never accept this life as we have. She wasn't prepared to die like we were and you want to take away her hope of returning to the life she rightfully deserves," Anakin cried, "That's just plain selfish, Jacen. They don't belong here, period!"  
  
Mace shrugged, looking at Yoda again, "What do you think, Master?"  
  
"Difficult decision, this is. Very complicated it can be, but the right one. We will send Jaina back but she'll have 3 days to locate Jag and her body."  
  
Jacen raised an eyebrow, stepping forward, "Locate her body? I thought we already knew where that was..."  
  
"Jaina's body is missing. That's why we've been delaying her return. She can't return if her body is missing." Mace explained.  
  
Anakin rolled his eyes, "If Jaina's body wasn't burned, then where is it?"  
  
"We don't know. We're sending her with Master Jinn as her guide. The two of you can't accompany her," Mace concluded, "May the Force be with you."  
  
~~  
  
Jaina Solo frowned, staring the charred wood and pile of ashes. Her funeral was days ago. Many Jedi had attended, Kyp Durron, Tionne, Kam Solusar, Streen, Cilghal -- as well as her parents and the Antilles family. A lot of them were offered the chance to give a little speech in memoriam, but the only one that refused to speak with Kyp Durron.  
  
He was my Master; we were close....of course, he wouldn't want to talk. Jaina murmured, touching one of the sticks. The outside bark had already begun to chip away. She frowned, holding the stick in her hand and then gazed at the top of the pyre. Her entire body was burned, dark in ash....but it wasn't her body. It really wasn't her body at all. That's not my body. They grabbed the wrong body! she cried, dropping the stick on the floor.  
  
Qui-Gon shrugged, standing next to her, Hmm. They had a search team look for you, but they must have picked the wrong spot to look.  
  
Jaina moaned, glancing at him, This isn't funny, Master Jinn. My body, my real body is still out there and this...well, I don't know who this is but it's not me.  
  
He patted her shoulder, People make mistakes sometimes. It's human nature.  
  
Yes, people make mistakes but Jedi don't. And Jag's not a Jedi, she cried, Oooh, this is crazy. You hear stories about mortuaries loosing track of ashes but never bodies! Now, what do we do?  
  
We need to look for your body, but I think you need to tell Jag what's happened and get him to create another search party.  
  
She nodded, glancing at the pyre, I wander who she was if she wasn't me....  
  
It's possible this body has been here for a long time and they believed it was you because it was already badly burned, he reasoned, Whoever she was, she had a beautiful funeral...  
  
Even though it was mine and not hers, Jaina finished.  
  
tbc 


	5. Chapter 4

The Funeral  
  
Chapter 4, Post 1  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Sera Fey`lina irritably tapped her fingers as she waited for the military staff officers to arrive. Unlike those that had been partying, Sera didn't have the time to mess around. The Wraiths especially had the reputation for all-night partying and there was no doubt in her mind that was the reason several of the officers were late.  
  
"Well, I guess they can't be any worse than the Jedi," she mused.  
  
Wes laughed, looking up at Sera, "Why don't you just call off the meeting. No one's coming, Fey`lina,"  
  
Sera rolled her eyes, "This meeting is important because of the intelligence I've discovered...it's vital the military know about it. Besides, it concerns Jaina Solo's body."  
  
He was about to say something to rebuke her claim but Gavin Darklighter, Wedge Antilles, Tycho Celchu arrived. Wedge smiled at Sera, "Sorry for keeping you waiting Fey`lina, but we were all very busy this morning."  
  
"Whatever," she mumbled, "Let's get this meeting started so I can report to Master Skywalker and tell him the same thing."  
  
Gavin frowned, looking curiously at Wedge, "Report to Master Skywalker? What about?"  
  
"If you boys haven't forgotten, I'm also a Jedi Knight. I have an obligation to report any information concerning the military and the Jedi to Master Skywalker, himself," Sera paused, "And this piece of information, he'll definitely want to know about."  
  
"What type of information?" Wedge asked, leaning forward.  
  
Sera was silent a moment, "My Intel has discovered that Jaina Solo's body was not cremated as we all had thought. The military screwed up and collected the wrong body, and now Solo's body is still out there. And wherever it is, it's at risk. It's at risk because there's a strong possibility, the Vong might stumble upon it and if that happens, the Jedi can't perform the ritual again to properly cremate her body."  
  
Wedge huffed, scratching his chin, "Jag is my nephew. I talked to him last night. He was feeling better about himself; just think how he'll react if he finds out his wife's body wasn't cremated like he believed. It would kill him to go through her funeral a second time."  
  
"I realize that, Antilles," Sera replied, "but we can't allow the Vong to get a hold of Solo's body. If they did, they'd probably mutilate it."  
  
"And Luke? You're gonna tell him the same thing?" Gavin asked.  
  
She shrugged, "I have to as liaison. I think he'd like to know; he deserves to know,"  
  
Gavin huffed, turning to Tycho, "Order a search, gather a team together and look for her body. I want 10 teams searching."  
  
Tycho nodded, "Yes sir," and he vanished.  
  
Gavin turned his attention to Sera, "When are you going to talk to Luke?"  
  
She shrugged, "I was planning on stopping by his quarters after this meeting and talk to him then,"  
  
"Delay that," Gavin added, "You don't go anywhere near Luke until the search party arrives with Jaina Solo's body, and then you can talk to Luke about a second funeral," he turned to Wedge, "I guess maybe you should talk to Jag and warn him about the search,"  
  
Wedge nodded, looking down, "I'll do that," he faced Sera, "I know this isn't the best news, but thank you Sera for your help,"  
  
"You're welcome, Antilles," she replied, "Jaina and I -- we were friends, too. I loved her like a little sister; I know the feeling of loss and my condolences go to you and your family."  
  
Wedge smiled, standing up, "Thank you, Sera. Excuse me." he concluded, leaving the conference room.  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 4, Post 2  
  
'Frozen In Time'  
  
By obi's girl  
  
I smiled, kissing Jaina one last time as she rested in my arms. We were both late for a staff meeting but since Jaina was a Goddess and had special privileges, we both had excuses to be late. I didn't mind. Life out there is harsh but staying with Jaina, things become a lot simpler and less complicated. Maybe that's the feeling of being in love, life seems less complicated.  
  
"We really should get going," Jaina mumbled between kisses, "Even if we can afford to be late."  
  
My smile lingered, "I can't believe you want to leave to attend a stuffy staff meeting rather than spend your free time here with me,"  
  
She shrugged, "Everyone still needs me to put a front and do my duty. I can't ignore that because I'm pregnant and engaged, Jagged Fel,"  
  
I kissed her nose, "I guess not. All right, we'll go...in a minute."  
  
Jaina nodded, pushing me, "No, we'll go now, Colonel Fel. That's an order."  
  
~~  
  
As usual, I kept a distance away from Jaina, allowing her entry first into the briefing room. My Uncle was there, talking quietly to Gavin Darklighter. Jaina sat down first and then, I took a seat beside her next to Kyp. Kyp leaned over, "Glad you finally decided to join us, Fel."  
  
I only rolled my eyes, ignoring him, glancing at Jaina. She relaxed in her chair, playing the part of the spoiled goddess. "What is this meeting that demands my time, Commander?"  
  
Gavin smirked, "It's of top priority, your worship."  
  
Jaina frowned, sensing something was off. She glanced around the table -- everyone was accounted for. Their minds were hiding something or were trying to hide something important. Jaina reached for me, grabbing hold of my hand as Leia appeared with wrapped gifts and C3P-0 with a cake. "What's this?" she cried.  
  
"This is your engagement party," Leia replied, as C3P-0 set the cake on the table, "It would have been sooner but some of us couldn't quite decide which direction to take the party."  
  
Jaina smiled, hugging her mother and C3P-0, "Thanks guys. Thank you so much."  
  
"In times like these, an engagement is a wonderful thing and finding true love is very rare," Kyp said from behind. Jaina turned, smiling up at him and even surprised him with a hug, "Congratulations, Jaina."  
  
"Thank you," she repeated, "Thank you."  
  
"Gifts! Gifts! Gifts! Gifts!" Wedge chanted, hitting his fist against the table.  
  
Jaina rolled her eyes, tugging my arm as she sat down again, taking one of the gifts aside. I smiled, sitting beside Jaina. Our engagement was supposed to be a secret but it's hard to keep a secret on such a small base because word eventually leaks around and someone finds out. But it didn't matter to me now; seeing the smile in Jaina's face was all that mattered.  
  
Jaina unwrapped the tissue paper, removing the lid to the box. She could make out a silver frame but what was there, she didn't know. Jaina's smile lessoned as she removed the frame and realized it was a picture of herself with Jacen and Anakin, a year or two before the Vong war started.  
  
"It's beautiful," she cried, fingering the frame as I picked up the card. It was from her parents of course, mostly from Leia. "I wish they were here. There's so much I'd want to tell them about my life and what's happened."  
  
Wedge cleared his throat, standing up and handing his present to Jaina, "Giving this present is just pretense, Jaina...the real present for me, is getting to have you as a part of my family."  
  
"You guys are so sweet," Jaina cried, "Stop it. You're making me want to be a girl and become emotional and all that crap." I smiled, patting her shoulder.  
  
~~  
  
Wish we were there too, Jaina, Jacen mused, watching her open her wedding gifts.  
  
Anakin came up beside him, She looks nice; she looks happy,  
  
Jacen grinned, staring at his sister's image, She does look happy doesn't she? Ya know, Kyp was right...about what he said. Finding true love is very rare, and it's obvious Jaina has found hers in Jag.  
  
Let's just hope this one lasts. I'd hate to see Jaina hurt, Anakin mused, She deserves to be happy and to continue living her life.  
  
~~  
  
"You miss them don't you?" I asked, helping Jaina clean up the conference table and setting aside our wedding gifts. I had heard of Anakin's death on Myrkr and then of course, Jacen's disappearance, but when I heard one of Leia's children had died, my first thought was that it was Jaina herself.  
  
Jaina shrugged, smiling a bit, "After Anakin died, I was angry with Jacen for leaving his body there. Jacen said he was just following Anakin's orders, but being as stubborn as I am, I saw it as a betrayal. But anger fades with time and eventually, I stopped being angry with Jacen. He was only following orders. Anakin wanted everyone to get out and get to safety, including Tahiri," Jaina paused, "I'll always miss Jacen and Anakin. They'd been there my whole life.and now, I think this is the one time they won't see me on the happiest day of my life. Or maybe they'll be watching."  
  
I smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek, "You're a good person, Jaina.I think we've both grown a lot since this war has started."  
  
She frowned slightly, resting her hand on her stomach, "And now, we're going to bringing a child into a war-torn galaxy. Jag, I'm not so sure. The galaxy isn't a safe place now and probably won't be safe for a long time. It was hard enough when little Ben was born but for a girl, it can be very traumatizing."  
  
I gently rubbed her back, smiling, "I know what you're saying Jaina, but I promise you, whatever happens, we will not abandon this child to fight out there. I wouldn't leave our daughter at home while we're both in a battle, halfway across the galaxy."  
  
Jaina smiled again, kissing my cheek, "Then, I guess we're both lucky to have you as our protector," she paused again, "C'mon, we need to get these gifts back to the apartment."  
  
~~  
  
I smiled, leaning forward to kiss Jaina again as left the conference room. Normally, if we were in public, we wouldn't be this close. Everyone on the base was already familiar with the notion that Jaina was a Goddess for military reasons - to irritate the Vong - and everyone else was beneath her. I was beneath her since I was only a mortal, but ranks, titles - didn't really matter at that moment.  
  
We weren't in a particular rush to get to the apartment but everyone else around us was running from one hall to another. Jaina picked up on their nervousness and became worried. "Something's happening, or about to happen," she mused, kissing my cheek one last time. She grabbed a lieutenant as he made his way down the hallway, "What's happening?"  
  
The boy shrugged, "It's not a drill. Vong coral skippers have entered the system."  
  
Jaina froze, looking into my eyes. Borealis was supposed to be a safe place, a haven but somehow, the Vong were able to penetrate our defenses. I leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Meet with my Uncle. Go, I'll put these away and meet you down there as soon as I can,"  
  
"Are you sure?" she questioned, "What if I have to leave the ground before you reach the bay?"  
  
I smiled, kissing her again, "In your condition, I don't think you'll have to. Just stay with Wedge until I get there." I kissed Jaina again before sprinting towards the apartment.  
  
"I love you," she whispered but I was already gone before the words could reach me.  
  
~~  
  
"Jaina!" Wedge yelled as she entered the bay, "Where's Jag?"  
  
Jaina shrugged, running over to him, "He ran real quickly back to the apartment to put the gifts away. He'll be here as soon as he can. How serious is the situation?"  
  
Wedge directed her to a computer counsel, "Many of our fighters have been knocked out. Five in the last hour; it seems the Vong are becoming more familiar with our military tactics. We need to get you up as soon as possible,"  
  
Jaina grabbed his arm as he turned, "I can't go up, Wedge. I can't explain it but I can't go up. I'm sorry."  
  
"Can't go up? Jaina, we need you up there. The Vong haven't lost any skips since the dogfight started but we're rapidly loosing pilots and I sure as Hell don't want to fill out more 'death notices'."  
  
"I understand that, Wedge but I can't go up. I just can't."  
  
Wedge frowned, looking at Jaina, really looked at her, "Is it a Jedi thing? Have you sensed something about this battle we should know about?"  
  
"No, I haven't -- I," Jaina paused, looking away from him and resting her hand on her stomach. She couldn't risk her child but she couldn't risk any more pilots being shot down. But then there was her promise to me to stay on the ground until I got there. "I, all right. I'm going up."  
  
"But you just said you couldn't ---,"  
  
Jaina turned to him, "Forget what I said. I'm Goddess and I have the right to change my mind. I'm going up, prepare my x-wing!"  
  
~~  
  
Jaina, no! Jacen shouted as he watched his sister suit up and climb into her x-wing. Jaina looked around curiously, thinking I made it after all but when she didn't see me, she shrugged, pulling on her helmet. The flight crew stood back as Jaina maneuvered her x-wing out of the bay and shot into space.  
  
Wedge stood there, watching her disappear and then turned, still worried. The way Jaina acted, it was almost as if she was protecting someone or maybe herself. But Jaina herself knew she didn't need to be afraid if something happened. She was a Jedi Knight and a skilled pilot.  
  
"Wedge? Where'd she go?" I asked, running up to my Uncle.  
  
He shrugged, "Jaina just took off a few minutes ago. She was hesitant to leave but she changed her mind."  
  
"She's out there?! In her condition..." I shrieked, darting towards my x- wing.  
  
Wedge looked curiously at me, standing on the side on my x-wing. "Um Jag, you know Jaina can handle herself out there. She'll be fine,"  
  
I nodded, "No, she won't be...It's complicated."  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 4, Post 3  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"Sera Fey`lina," a voice said from behind her. Sera turned, expecting to see Gavin and listen to him warn her again not talk to Luke but she saw Kyp Durron instead. Sera smiled, greeting the Jedi Master. Sera had known Kyp Durron for a long time; she'd flown in his squadron before the war started. They were always very close but at times, Sera always wished he'd notice her and sweep her off her feet.  
  
"Kyp," she said, "It's nice to see you. It's been a long time,"  
  
Kyp smiled, "It has. What are you doing here?"  
  
Sera froze, "I was in a conference with Gavin Darklighter and Wedge Antilles. It was mainly about military information, leaks - that sort of thing."  
  
He nodded, "That's right. I forgot you're liaison between the Jedi and the military," he paused, smiling again, "Ya know, I've missed you."  
  
"I missed you, too," Sera murmured, "But you know we've all been busy in this war, taken away to do something to help...and I can see, you've been called as well."  
  
"Oh yes, Twin Suns Squadron. That squadron mine as well be abandoned anyway. We lost Jaina Solo, our leader and a squadron without a leader isn't a squadron. You heard about her?"  
  
Sera frowned, "I have," she paused, facing him again. Sera had been in and out so much but she knew back before the war started, Kyp had a little crush on Solo, and she suspected he still had feelings for her which was why she couldn't tell him about her body. "Kyp, I'm sorry I'd love to catch up with you but I have to go."  
  
"No, Sera wait!" he cried, grabbing hold of her arm, "I know you're probably busy but seeing you again, well, it's been a long time since I've seen a familiar face - I want to talk to you some more, maybe even get together sometime."  
  
Sera looked at him curiously and smirked, "Get together sometimes? Is that an offer for a date, Durron?"  
  
He smirked, "Maybe, Fey`lina."  
  
"I'm free tomorrow. I'll be in the pilot's lounge. We can have lunch together."  
  
Kyp smiled, kissing her cheek, "I'll see you then Fey`lina," and he left.  
  
Sera rolled her eyes, walking down the opposite corridor.  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 4, Post 4  
  
'The Last Breathe'  
  
A/N: Two more chapters until Jaina's death! Finally, you all get to see what she went through during her last moments alive.  
  
Ever have one of those feelings something was going to happen and that you would have no control over? I've been having that feeling all week, but I don't know what it is supposed to be.  
  
C'mon, Jaina! Where are you? I cried, flying through wreckage and past several X-wings. Most of the skips had retreated but some of them still remained, but I didn't really care. I checked my scanner again for her X- wing signature and then looked again out my veiwport. If something happened to her.Stop, thinking that Fel, she's fine. She has to be fine, they're both fine. They have to be.  
  
Jag. a voice crackled through his com.  
  
I smiled, raising the volume, "Jaina, where are you?"  
  
I'm.Sithspit! she cried. I froze, hearing several coral skippers shoot at her. She cursed again under her breath.  
  
Jaina, what's happened? Are you all right?  
  
I lost a wing but I think I can compensate. I'll be all right. she paused, looking at her scopes again. Five skips were right on top of her. Jaina froze, staring at them before they all fired at her. Jag.  
  
Jaina! I cried, searching space for her x-wing. Many wings had gone down but it was still hard to spot Jaina's. Finally, I caught sight of one x- wing, spiraling towards the planet and a couple coral skippers watching it from behind. I scowled, gritting my teeth. How could they.? Jaina, our child.  
  
Jag, what's happened? my Uncle asked via comlink. Tears stained my eyes as I stared at the spot where Jaina's x-wing spiraled out of control and crashed. If I were a Jedi, I would have been able to act quicker to rescue her from those skips. I would have sensed the danger and saved her. Jag? my Uncle repeated.  
  
Man down, sir, I croaked, The Goddess, skips cornered her and shot her down.  
  
Wedge was silent, probably conferring with Gavin Darklighter before he answered me again, Take your squadron and return to base.  
  
What about Jaina's x-wing. Shouldn't we look for the Goddess?  
  
I'm sorry Jag but it's too risky. Return to base. That's an order! Wedge concluded.  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 4, Post 5  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"You saw your cousins? How did that go?" Celeste asked as Jag walked around her office. She hadn't expected him to show up so soon for another appointment, but she was glad he came anyway.  
  
Jag shrugged, turning to her, "It was nice and comforting. Before seeing Syal and Myri, I believed I was the only one hurting from Jaina's death. But then I realized I wasn't the only one. Other people were hurting too. That's why I saw Wedge that day drinking at the bar, he was grieving."  
  
Celeste smiled, "It's good you realize you're not the only one. It's a step towards recovery."  
  
"I thought if I would see Syal, I would feel bad for myself but I didn't. It made me feel better to see her, I guess, probably because it gave me hope. Does that make sense?"  
  
She nodded, "Yes, it does. I have a question? Why would seeing your cousin make you feel bad about yourself?"  
  
He shrugged, "I thought if I saw Syal, seeing her face would remind me of Cherith, my daughter. It did, but I didn't feel bad about it. And that's good, right?"  
  
"Of course," Celeste paused, "Jag, this is wonderful. You're making so much progress in a short amount of time. It's nothing like I expected."  
  
Jag smirked, "On my way over here, I was even thinking about going back to work. I know you're probably gonna say it's too soon but I think I can do it."  
  
"It is too soon for that, Jag. I know you may think it'll help you but it's still too soon," Celeste soothed, "This idea of visiting with relatives is a good idea. I think it's time for you to talk to the Solo's. You were after all, very close to becoming their son-in-law."  
  
"Talk to Han?" Jag murmured, "I don't know if I'm ready that. Besides, Han might blame me for Jaina's death and then I'd be right back to where I started."  
  
Celeste shrugged, "What about Leia? She's understanding."  
  
"I don't know...Leia was very supportive of us. But I don't know."  
  
"You don't have to talk to them right away; it's just a suggestion," Celeste added, "So, we've talked about your cousins - what about your aunt and uncle? How did that go?"  
  
Jag frowned, scratching his head, "I told them about Cherith. I felt since Jaina and I were very close to being married, they deserved to know about her. Iella was devastated but Wedge was there to comfort her. They both loved Jaina very much."  
  
"Because they'd both known her since she was a child?"  
  
"..and her brothers, too." Jag finished, "It was hard on everyone."  
  
"What will happen now?" Celeste asked.  
  
~~  
  
"Search and secure," Gavin started as he stood in front of a prepared crew. Weeks earlier, he'd given Jag the chance to search for Jaina's body after the accident and now, he was looking for her body.again. Only this time, Jag didn't know about it and hopefully, he would never have to find out. "Look through all possible areas where Lieutenant Solo's x-wing could have wound up. I know many were shot down during that dogfight and we may not find her, but we have to try. Dismissed."  
  
He watched as the each squad leader directed their men where to look and started to move out. Gavin gasped, he hoped they would be successful but he couldn't be sure of that. "Gavin?" Wedge asked.  
  
"I don't want to be the one to bring Jaina home and tell Han and Leia they have to bury her all over again, Wedge," he cried, "It was hard enough for all of us the first time around, but a second time, it'd kill them."  
  
Wedge smiled, though it was strained, "I know the feeling. But maybe we'll get lucky this time and we will find her, and we can give whoever we did bury a nice funeral and give her our proper respects," he paused, "I haven't talked to Jag. I was going to but then I realized if Jag knew, he'd be devastated."  
  
"I heard he came over to your apartment last night and you guys talked," Gavin said, "That's good. It's good he's not cooped up,"  
  
Wedge shrugged, "He came mainly to see his cousins and to talk to us. There was - it's a complicated situation; I wish I could explain it but Jag made me promise not to say anything,"  
  
"That's fine. Whatever it is, good or bad news, I think it would just make the situation a lot worse than it already is,"  
  
tbc 


	6. Chapter 5

The Funeral  
  
Chapter 5, Post 1  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"What have you been up to?" Kyp asked, his voice at back of Sera's mind. She should have been paying attention to Kyp, but she couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that Jaina's real body was out there somewhere. It was her responsibility to bring the necessary information and let the military decide what they wanted to do. She wished she could tell someone about how she felt, Kyp even, but he'd ignore her and look for Jaina himself.  
  
Sera smiled back, fingering her mug of caf, "I'm a liaison, Kyp. The work I do is classified."  
  
"Ha!" he laughed, "No offense Sera, but anything that is classified usually leaks out one way or another. Seriously, what have you been up to?"  
  
She shrugged, "Travel, posing under different aliases to get information that could be used against the Vong and occasionally run into a couple spies that want to kill me - but what else is new?"  
  
Kyp laughed, looking at her, "This is what I missed about you, Sera: your humor. You could always make me laugh,"  
  
Sera frowned, fidgeting, "Is that why you invited me to lunch? To dull your pain?" she paused, "I heard about Jaina Solo's death. I'm sorry, Kyp,"  
  
"She was so special - to all of us. I'll be hard without her. She gave us all so much hope,"  
  
"I know what you mean," Sera paused, reached over and rested her hand on Kyp's, "I'm very sorry about what happened,"  
  
He smiled, "I try not to think about it. It's just easier that way,"  
  
"Would you care to spar instead of talk? I haven't really practiced in a long time since I've been so accustomed to using a blaster."  
  
Kyp smiled, "I'd like that."  
  
~~  
  
Kyp Durron smirked as he stood back, removing his lightsaber and dropping his robe to the floor. It had been a long time since he'd seen Sera. She was there with him when the Vong attacked his squadron and there to comfort him when Wurth was murdered. She'd always been there to help him in one way or another, and there she was again, helping him get through his pain.  
  
They'd both grown up in the same background, as orphans but from different parts of the galaxy. Sera lived her life on Tatoonie as an orphan and as con artist, doing what she could to survive and he as a slave, working for the Empire. He supposed Luke chose her to be liaison because Sera was so used to lying and cheating to get what she wanted and was good at blending in with crowds. Of course, Sera wasn't there when he first attended Luke's academy. She arrived much later, a year or two before the Vong war and greatly progressed to the rank of Jedi Knight.  
  
Sera turned to him, removing her lightsaber, "Ready Durron?"  
  
He shrugged, smirking again, "Bring it on, Fey`lina!"  
  
Sera's smile vanished as she ignited her purple lightsaber and Kyp activated his blue. Sera paced slowly around him, studying him. In a flash, she remembered his style of fighting. Like his ego and character, Kyp's fighting skills were very extravagant. He was all about the flights of fancy, she remembered that much, unless he changed his style while she was gone. But he would be un-Kyp if he changed too much.  
  
Sera smiled again, twirling and striking his blue blade. Kyp laughed, pushing her blade off his and did a back flip, landing on the opposite side. Sera laughed, switching hands before attacking again. Kyp shrieked but set his blade in front, holding her blade just inches away from his face. He could feel the heat from both their blades - they crackled a bit before Sera backed away, returning to her stance again.  
  
The two paced around each other, their eyes focused on each other. This was a game between them. Whenever one of them felt bad, the other would call for sparring. It helped to release energy and tension.  
  
"Do you yield?" Sera asked.  
  
Kyp shrugged, still pacing around her, "This game's not finished yet, wildcat."  
  
"Wild cat?" Sera echoed, disengaging her lightsaber, "Kyp, this isn't a game anymore. You're hurting - I just asked you to spar to get you to talk. You know that."  
  
Kyp frowned, disengaging his lightsaber and putting it back on his belt, "I don't want to talk,"  
  
"This isn't healthy for you. You need to ---, " Sera stopped as Kyp suddenly grabbed her back and kissed her. When he let go, Sera slapped his face and stood back, "No Kyp, I won't do that! I refuse to be a substitute for your pain. You need to talk about what happened,"  
  
"I was there, Sera. I know I wasn't with Jaina when she died, but I felt it. It was my job to protect her and I let her down. At the funeral, a lot of people talked about her but I couldn't do that. I had to be strong, but you can only be strong for so long before breaking."  
  
Sera frowned, feeling his pain, "You haven't really grieved for her, have you? I mean, you've never really said good bye?"  
  
"Jag's seeing a therapist because he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions but I'm a Jedi, I'm supposed to be able to deal with my emotions," Kyp cried, "If I had the power to bring her back, I would but there's nothing I can do or anyone else can do you to bring her back. We all have to move on and forget anything ever happened."  
  
"She was your apprentice Kyp and you loved her. It's alright to cry, you don't have to be afraid of that,"  
  
Kyp shrugged, turning to her. Sera smiled, staring back at him as Kyp touched her cheek. He pulled Sera forward, kissing her again and this time, she didn't slap him.  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 5, Post 2  
  
"Goodbye to You"  
  
A/N: Bring out the tissues, a lot of angst and crying ahead.  
  
by obi's girl  
  
"I'm sorry Jag, I can't permit you to look for Jaina," Gavin started, glancing at Wedge and Tycho, "It's just too risky. The Vong are still out there and the base has been put on red alert. No one is allowed off base for any reason, military or personal,"  
  
I scowled, nodding, "Excuse me but this is very personal. If we leave her out there, she'll die."  
  
"Except she may already be dead," Gavin finished, "Jag, I'm sorry but it's highly unlikely she survived that crash. She was cornered by five coral skippers and shot down with a limp wing. There's no way she could have survived that,"  
  
"But she's a Jedi," I added, "Jedi are trained to survive life threatening crashes like that. She could have gone into a meditative state or something to heal her wounds. You can't just expect me to stay here and not search for her. Sir, she was my fiancé. We were going to be married - at least allow me to bring her home to her family."  
  
Gavin huffed, looking at Wedge and Tycho again. Wedge nodded, stepping forward and facing his nephew, "Jag, we all loved Jaina very much - we understand how you feel but it's still too dangerous. You can't go out there and look for her, especially since you're a big part of this Goddess operation."  
  
I nodded, removing my insignia and tossing it on the desk, "Then I'm not a part of this operation anymore. I'm looking for her and I'm going to bring her home." Before Gavin could object again, I turned on my heel and left his office.  
  
"That kid has guts!" Tycho added as Wedge looked at him, "No one would have been able to get away with throwing off his insignia. Gavin, let him go look for Jaina. He deserves that much."  
  
He nodded, not looking back at them, "Follow him but don't let him know you're there. If he does find her, alert a recovery team and they'll bring her back."  
  
~~  
  
Jacen? Jaina asked as she laid limp in her x-wing cockpit. She tried to move but her right arm was shattered with glass. She used her left hand instead to reach for her com - she was able to pick it up and hold it in her free hand but she couldn't get a clear signal out. Jaina moaned, attempting to sit up but her back was hurting and she fell back on her seat again. She tried to use her free hand to push the cockpit window but she needed her right hand and that was limp.  
  
Jaina reached for her lightsaber. She held the cylinder in her hand, attempting to turn it on only using her thumb but even her fingers were dull. Jaina moaned again, hitting her head against her chair. She had to get out of there and get help, she had to survive for her.child. Jaina cried as her hand rested on her stomach. She couldn't feel anything; she closed her eyes instead and reached into the Force.  
  
The child was dying. Her heartbeat was weak, very weak. She needed to get out there. Jaina scowled as she brought up her right hand and punched through the glass. She screamed as her fist collided with the glass but pushed the glass aside and threw it onto the ground. Jaina grabbed her lightsaber again as she stood up on the seat, pushing herself out of the cockpit and falling onto the ground.  
  
Jaina stumbled on the ground a bit, walking only a meter from her x-wing before collapsing onto the ground.  
  
"Jag, Jacen, help me!" Jaina cried as she laid there, her face against the ground. She stayed there for a while, struggling not to close her eyes. Jaina knew if she did, she probably wouldn't wake up again. That couldn't happen. She had to survive.for her daughter and for me.  
  
Jaina, let go, Jacen replied.  
  
She nodded, "I can't. Jacen, I can't. Jag, he needs me. I can't let go,"  
  
A moment later, Jacen's blue silhouette appeared followed by Anakin's. They both smiled at her briefly before frowning again. Jaina struggled to stand up again but her arms were weak. Jaina, let go. Be with us. Jacen repeated.  
  
"No, I can't. I'm not ready, Jacen. I can't leave Jag," she cried, her tears smearing the blood on her cheeks.  
  
You will not survive if you try to get back to the base. Jaina please, it's easier to give in now Anakin added.  
  
Jaina scowled, glaring up at him, "I can't do that. Jag - I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with Jag's daughter. This baby needs to live. We both need to live,"  
  
Anakin frowned, looking at his brother. Jacen gasped and then knelt down, extending his hand to his sister, Jaina, you need to come with us. We'll take care of you and your daughter.  
  
"Jag, I need to say goodbye to him. I need to see him," she cried.  
  
Jacen nodded, I'm sorry. There's no time for that. You have to come with us now, and he extended his hand to her again. Jaina stared at her brother's blue hand. If she took his hand, that would mean her life would be over. Hers' and Cheirth's. But if she stayed and tried to get back to base, she probably would die along the way. And I would look for her at the crash site and if I didn't see her body there, I'd be hurt.  
  
Jaina, please, Anakin pleaded again, We can stop your pain. Come with us,  
  
Jaina cried again, wiping her eyes and smearing more blood across her face. She sniffled some more, looking away briefly and then at her brother's face again. Jaina brought up her left hand, placing it in her brothers' and soon as she did, Jaina felt her body give out. She couldn't feel anything anymore. She wasn't numb but she wasn't herself either.  
  
Jaina stood up from the ground, staring at her arms and hands. They were clear, void of blood, cuts and bruises. Then she turned and looked at her body. Her body was just a vessel for life and now she was dead and it was dead. Her eyes were closed, her bloodied face finally mixed with earth. Jaina bit her lip, looking at herself. She had given up on life and the possibility of a life with me so our child could survive.  
  
Jaina turned to Jacen and Anakin. They both smiled, embracing her, Welcome home, Jaina. We missed you, Anakin cried but all Jaina could do was stare off into nothingness and the rest of her life.  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 5, Post 3  
  
'The Body"  
  
by obi's girl  
  
A/N: 'I Will Remember You' is by Sarah McLaughlin  
  
~~  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
~~  
  
I scowled, dragging my feet through the grass and earth as I held the small flashlight in my left hand. This couldn't be the end. After all Jaina and I had been through, this couldn't be the end. The only reason I was strong was because of her. She had always been there, pushing me forward. No, she wasn't dead. She was still alive, somewhere, she had to be.  
  
I smiled, feeling somewhat cocky in my belief. I shouldn't have believed she was still alive but I had to hope and pray the Force didn't take her yet. I stumbled somewhere, aiming my small flashlight in every direction. What I would give to be able to sense her through the Force. Jaina never acted like a Jedi, she was more a pilot than a Jedi but I knew she still believed herself to be a Jedi.  
  
I struggled some more through the earth until I spotted a lone x-wing and a body a meter away from it. Aiming the light in that direction, I squinted, hoping it was Jaina and hoping it wasn't. The body wasn't moving. I huffed, moving closer to the wreckage. I dropped my gear on the ground as I walked closer, shining the light in her face.  
  
I gasped, stumbling back.  
  
Jaina, it was her! My mind cried for this vision to not be true. I dropped the flashlight, dropping to the ground as I knelt, grabbing hold of her upper body. I checked her pulse.  
  
Nothing.  
  
I scowled as I held her body. I was too late. She wasn't there anymore; she was with her brothers.  
  
~~  
  
Remember the good times that we had?  
  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one  
  
~~  
  
Wedge Antilles choked a cry as he watched me hold my fiancé in my arms. He wanted to run over to and comfort me himself but he couldn't. Tycho nodded, watching us. It was wrong, very wrong. I didn't deserve this; Jaina didn't deserve to be taken from me.and my daughter. I'd never have the chance to see her face or hold her in my arms.  
  
~~  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
~~  
  
"Should we go back and report to Gavin?" Tycho asked, bringing Wedge out of his reverie. "Should we tell him we've found the body?"  
  
Wedge nodded, whispering, "Don't. Let him be. He needs to be with her, even though she's not there."  
  
Tycho shook his head, understanding his reasoning and leaned back, watching us.  
  
~~  
  
"It shouldn't be like this, Jaina," I sobbed between cries, "We were going to have a life together. Just you, me and Cherith. This isn't fair. You need to come back. I need you, your family needs you,"  
  
I huffed, shifting my weight and I brought up her head to my face. I leaned down and kissed her cold lips, bracing her head. I sat there, rocking her body back and forth. "It shouldn't be like this, Jaina. Please wake up; you need to wake up,"  
  
I kissed her again, hoping she would wake up and look into my eyes. I'd look into her brown eyes and tell her everything was going to be all right. We were going to be all right.  
  
~~  
  
I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard  
  
~~  
  
"I need you with me, Jaina. I need you to make me strong. You were - are my greatest weakness," I whispered, "Before you, I thought I was strong but I was weak. I didn't know how to be human but you showed me. Jaina, I need you here with me baby. Please come back,"  
  
I sighed, loosening my grip around her shoulders as her body slowly slid back onto the ground. I kissed her lips again and then her forehead. I didn't want to let go but I couldn't will myself to stay and stare at her face.  
  
~~  
  
But I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
~~  
  
I stood up and turned away, staring up into the heavens. She was with her brothers now and grandparents. Jaina never knew her grand parents. She knew of Anakin Skywalker, her brother's namesake, but she always feared meeting him. She was scared as she grew up that she had become too much like him. She had his temper and feared if something happened to one of her brother, she'd break the same way Anakin did and give into the Darkside.  
  
~~  
  
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose  
  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light  
  
~  
  
Now, I was broken but Jaina had returned to her brothers. I scowled, looking up at the sky again. They were with her, comforting her and helping her adjust. Please keep her safe for me, I begged Anakin and Jacen, take care of her for me.  
  
I turned again and looked down at her body. She was at peace now but her body, her body still needed to be laid to rest. I knelt down, grabbing her shoulders again and lifting her up. I stood there for a moment, unsure what else to do.  
  
~  
  
And I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
~  
  
"Jag!" Wedge cried as he ran from his hiding place, hugging me. I didn't even see him there as he looked at Jaina's face. He looked at me again and huffed, grabbing his com, "Tycho, call the recover team."  
  
Tycho didn't reply except click his com twice before switching off. Wedge stared at me for a moment, unsure what to say. He'd always had to bury someone's son or daughter in this war but this was the first time he'd lost someone very close to his heart.  
  
"Jag, I'm sorry. We all loved her very much; I'm sorry," he whispered, grasping my shoulder.  
  
I shrugged him off, ignoring him as the rescue team arrived.  
  
~  
  
And I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 5, Post 4  
  
by obi's girl  
  
Jagged Fel gasped as he stood there in Celeste's office. Maybe it was time for him to move on but the horrible memory of holding Jaina in his arms one last time and before that, Gavin, his Uncle and Tycho, refusing his plea to look for her. He believed they'd betrayed him then, especially his Uncle.  
  
He'd been so angry with Wedge for backing up Gavin's decision. He thought they were family, he thought Wedge loved Jaina too and would have wanted to look for her body. But so much had changed since then. Jag had forgiven his Uncle for holding him back. Now, he realized Wedge was trying to protect him from being hurt and disappointed.  
  
"What are you thinking? Celeste asked, interrupting his reverie. "If you don't mind,"  
  
Jag turned to her, "No one was to blame for Jaina's death. It was an accident but after she died, all I did was blame myself for not being there with her," he paused, laughing, "My Uncle and her family surprised us in the conference room with an engagement party."  
  
Celeste smiled, "That's sweet and thoughtful. At least before dying, she was able to spend time with her family and those who loved her,"  
  
"I guess," he paused, "Leia gave her a picture of herself and her brothers, a year before the war started. When Jaina saw that, she almost broke down in tears but she didn't."  
  
"And now she's with them," Celeste whispered, "Have you ever met the Solo brothers?"  
  
He shrugged, "I only met Jaina. I'd never met her brothers and of course, they both died on Myrkr. In a way, Jaina and I were able to sympathesize with each other because we both had lost siblings in this war to them,"  
  
"The Vong," Celeste clarified, "It's never easy to lose a sibling in war. I think those are the hardest deaths to get over because they weren't natural,"  
  
Jag looked at Celeste again, "Excuse me for being blunt doc, but nothing about death is natural. Any type of death, whether it's in a war or not is still hard."  
  
"I'm sorry but as the doctor here, I have to give my professional opinion," she paused, "You've had to deal with a lot of death. Your sisters' and brothers', your fiancé's death. Each time you weren't allowed to grieve because you were raised in a society where emotion is known as weakness,"  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?  
  
Celeste stood up from her desk, leaning forward, "You need to let go. Drop your barriers and let your emotions free."  
  
Jag looked at her, bracing his hands on the desk, staring back at Celeste, "I've already dropped my barriers, doctor,"  
  
"I have to disagree..." she started but Jag's lips touched hers.  
  
Suddenly Jag broke the kiss stepping back, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I have to go."  
  
Before Celeste could say another word, Jagged Fel vanished from her sight.  
  
tbc 


	7. Chapter 6

The Funeral  
  
Chapter 6, Post 1  
  
By obi's girl  
  
It was late; very late but I didn't care. I needed to be there. I stood there, watching the retrieval crew grab Jaina's body and put her into a black body bag. The bag remained opened for a minute before someone zipped it up. Four men took hold of the bag, hoisting her body onto their shoulders as a hover ambulance backed up. I winced again as the two men in front left their positions and jumped into the vehicle, grabbing the head of the bag and pulling it inside.  
  
"Jag?" Wedge asked. I turned to him briefly and started to walk away, but he called me again. I turned to him reluctantly. "They're taking her to the nearest medical clinic to clean her wounds; you can go with her if you want to,"  
  
"Why would I want to? It's not like they can do anything to bring her back," I cried, "I need to get out of here. I need to leave,"  
  
He was about to say something else but I ran away, taking one of the medical speeders and took off.  
  
~~  
  
Light. Harsh light irritated Jaina Solo's eyes as she woke up. She had been in the afterlife for a day now but it seemed like she had been there forever. Jaina moaned as she raised her arm, shielding her eyes from the bright light. She jumped down from her bed, walking about the small room. She had always had a different type of view of the afterlife, but this place was different. Clean, almost and loads of bright white light.  
  
"I'm gonna have a headache if this light doesn't stop shining in my eyes!" she cried and then was shocked when the light calmed down. She frowned, lowering her arm and looked around. She wasn't alone; other Jedi were there.  
  
Anakin and Jacen were there but they were talking to someone; a tall Jedi Master, but it was no one she recognized. It couldn't have been Obi-Wan Kenobi but she felt whoever he was, he was very important. Jacen sighed, glancing at his sister and then at Anakin and the Jedi. The three of the stepped forward; Jacen greeting her first.  
  
"Glad, you're finally awake Jaina," he said and the turned to the tall Jedi, "This is Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn; he's been appointed to you as your guide,"  
  
"My guide? I don't understand,"  
  
Anakin stepped forward, "We've been here for awhile but you're new. You're not familiar with the way things are here. He's here to help you adjust; he's been here longer than any of us,"  
  
Jaina frowned, looking up at the tall Jedi. Qui-Gon smiled at her but she was still confused. Jaina sighed, walking around the room and then, instinctively, she rested her hand on her stomach. But she didn't feel anything; nothing was there. She turned to her brothers again, "Cherith! Where's my daughter? What happened to her?"  
  
"It's a complicated story but she's safe," Qui-Gon said, "I can't explain what happened but the Council was able to save Cherith. She's in the crèche now, adjusting to life on the outside,"  
  
"You mean, she's been born? When? How?"  
  
He smiled, "Like I said, it's a complicated," Qui-Gon paused, " Jaina, I know you've had a lot of attachments while you were alive -- Jag, your family, the Jedi but you have to forget about that now. That is not your life anymore; this is your life now,"  
  
"My life? How can I forget them? And Jag, I loved him -- I still do. We had a child together and you now you ask me to forget about him? I can't do that. I could never do that," she cried, "Where's Cherith? I want to see my daughter."  
  
"You can't," Jacen added, "It's not the time to see her,"  
  
Jaina scowled, raising an eyebrow, "I'm barred from seeing my own daughter? I don't care! I demand to see her; I want to hold her in my arms,"  
  
"Jaina," Anakin started but she glared at him and he backed down.  
  
"We understand how you feel, but it's for the best. It's the best action for right now. You need to adjust to the way things are, Jasa," Jacen said, "Come on, the Jedi Council wants to meet with you,"  
  
They all turned but Jaina stood there, crossing her arms. Qui-Gon looked back at her and sighed. She was a stubborn one; very stubborn like her grandmother. He smiled, "Jaina, if you come with us, I'll try and negotiate with the Council about seeing your daughter,"  
  
Jaina rolled her eyes, dropping her arms, "All right!"  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 6, Post 2  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Raking a hand through his black hair, Jagged Fel stormed into his quarters. He had to think -- what had he done and why did he do it? He just kissed his doctor in the middle of a therapy session. He said he'd move on but this was too soon. How could he fantasize about another woman so soon after his fiancé's death? It was too soon, extremely too soon.  
  
Jag nervous paced about, trying to forget about the kiss. He needed to focus and think about the situation. Why did he kiss Celeste? Of course, she was beautiful, very beautiful but it still wasn't right, or was it? Jag wasn't sure. He stopped pacing and glanced at the chrono. It was still early. He could walk down to the pilot's lounge and buy himself a drink but he was too nervous. If bought a drink, he might buy two more - maybe up to 10.  
  
Jag? Jaina cried.  
  
Jag grunted, lowering his head but didn't face her. "Jaina, I need to be alone right now. Please go away," he breathed.  
  
I need to talk to you; it's very important, she said, Jag, please look at me.  
  
He grunted; seeing his wife was the last thing he needed. As much as he was also happy to see her, he needed to get rid of her before she realized what happened. Jag huffed, turning to her. Jaina smiled warmly, dressed in her flight suit.  
  
It's good to see you, Jag. I need to talk to you; it's very important,  
  
He shrugged, "What is it?"  
  
Jag, I know I said I wouldn't be seeing you for a while but matters have changed. A lot has changed, in fact, she paused, There's no real way to say this, so I'll just say it. Jag, the military grabbed the wrong body.  
  
"Wait, what are you saying? Jaina, I was there. I identified your body..."  
  
But it wasn't me! she cried, looking away, I'm sorry about this Jag. But it's the truth...I didn't even know until I returned and Qui-Gon took me to the pyre.  
  
He frowned, looking down, "Then who was she?"  
  
Jaina shrugged, My guess is that was she one of the pilots that were shot down. Several were shot down before I was and there was one pilot in particular that resembled me; it was almost like looking in a mirror. Her name was Karia Ylena,  
  
Jag looked at her again, "What's going to happen now? Is there going to be another funeral?"  
  
Actually, there might not be. That's another reason why I came, my love. Jag, I'm coming home. Cherith and I are coming home, she cried but Jag's face was impassive, I can't tell you how since I'm still not very clear on that part -- but I know my body has to be in place for it to happen.  
  
"But your body is missing. How can you...?"  
  
She shrugged, Your Uncle. He, Gavin, Tycho and Sera Fey`lina are overseeing a search and secure operation to look for my missing body, Jaina smiled, reaching out to him but Jag backed away, It won't be too long my love. It's complicated but we'll be together soon, I promise. I promise, my love. We'll be together again,  
  
Jag was silent as Jaina turned and then faced him again, I still feel you, ya know. I mean, up there, I could still sense you like you were right there with me.  
  
Jag smirked, "I felt the same way after you died. Being in this place, our apartment, I could still feel you, like you never left,"  
  
Now, I'm coming back, Jaina reasoned.  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 6, Post 3  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"Were you thinking about her?" Sera asked as Kyp turned to her. Sera had always known Kyp loved Jaina; it was very obvious but if he said she was the one he was thinking about the whole time, she'd kill him. She'd waited forever for him. "Were you?"  
  
Kyp shrugged, "I loved her Sera..." Sera growled, turning away from him and standing up, grabbing her things. "Sera, I'm sorry."  
  
She nodded, "It was stupid. I believed when you kissed me, you were kissing me because you wanted to when in reality, you were thinking about her. You were dreaming of kissing her,"  
  
"Sera, I was thinking about her when I kissed you but mostly I was thinking how I could have not kissed you years ago," he whispered, "To be honest, the first time I met you, I had a crush on you. You were just like me; the same flare and arrogance. I think that's why I asked you to join the Dozen,"  
  
"I thought you asked me to join because I was a good pilot?" she asked.  
  
Kyp shrugged, pulling her closer to him again, "We're so much alike, you and I. I have so much in common with you then I ever did with Jaina," he paused, huffing, "I'll always blame myself for her death but now I realize, there's nothing I could have done to prevent it. Jag, I think realizes that now,"  
  
"And you? What's different about you Kyp Durron?"  
  
He smiled, "I'm not cocky anymore. I used to believe nothing could hurt me; I believed I was always protected in this bubble and nothing could touch me," Sera frowned, looking down and cried. "Hey, what's wrong?"  
  
She nodded, "I can't lie to you anymore. You deserve to know...Jaina's body. The military screwed up and picked up the wrong body. They're out now searching for her real body. That was the intelligence I found; that's what the meeting with Wedge and Gavin was about,"  
  
Kyp frowned, "They're looking for her now?"  
  
"I swear Kyp, I would have told you earlier but I was ordered not to say anything. And now I have broken that promise; I was going to talk to Master Skywalker about the situation but I was asked to delay that until the body was found," she paused, "Now, you probably hate me for lying to you..."  
  
Kyp raised his and made her look at him and nodded, "I don't hate you, Sera. You were doing your duty; I understand that,"  
  
"But you still want to look for her yourself, don't you?" she questioned.  
  
He huffed, "I do but I don't belong with her. I belong with you," Kyp leaned down and kissed her again.  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 6, Post 4  
  
"Dead Is Silent"  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Darkness. It wasn't dark outside but somehow my world had become a lot darker. Jaina was dead and my daughter was dead; our daughter was dead. I wanted so much for everything to be a lie, but I knew it wasn't. I was there; I saw her x-wing spiral towards the planet. I was there when the medics carried her body away.  
  
Everything should have been a blur in my mind but every detail was so distinct, I could see everything. Maybe it was being around a lot of Jedi or maybe it was my military training but I remembered. I remembered everything.  
  
I remembered meeting Jaina for the first time on Ithor and bypassing all those politicians. The conversation we had in Tafunda bay after the meeting; our reunion on Hapes and our first kiss. She'd saved my life when she was ordered to break away and return to base. Funny, I had been told the same thing.  
  
So many memories I have us, Jaina. How exactly am I supposed to let you go?  
  
"You live," a voice replied.  
  
I grunted, turning slightly as the Jedi walked into the room. I knew it was he; who else would it be? Kyp shrugged, looking at the dawn as well. "When are you going to talk to the Solo's?"  
  
"Does it really matter?" I asked, "No matter what, they'll have figured out something has happened. Luke, Leia and Mara are Jedi; they can sense these things. Why do I need to tell them something they already know about?"  
  
"Because they need to hear it from you," Kyp answered, "I know I wasn't there but I felt her die too. It was a horrible feeling...I felt something wasn't quite right; I knew she was in pain, a lot of pain but I don't know -- her pain was gone and I guess that's when she died,"  
  
I shrugged, looking at him, "You're lucky you weren't there. You realize I had to watch my fiancé die and I couldn't do anything to help her! I was helpless, Kyp. I couldn't save her."  
  
"None of us could have saved her," he whispered, "but I know wherever she is, she's happy. She's with her brothers now,"  
  
"Funny, did you rehearse that?" I asked as Kyp glared at me and I nodded, "Sorry. I just --- I just know Master Skywalker or someone ele will say that again to me,"  
  
Kyp smiled partly, "There is life beyond this place, Jag. You'll see Jaina again..."  
  
"As a ghost? I don't think I can handle that," I said, "You Jedi are used to seeing ghosts; it's the norm for you but the dead don't talk. The dead is silent, Kyp. That's what I've been taught my whole life; the dead never talks,"  
  
He shrugged, "I talked to your Uncle before coming here. He offered to go in your place and talk to the Solo's,"  
  
"I need to talk to them," I whispered, "This isn't Wedge's responsibility, it's mine,"  
  
"He also said if I found you that he's sorry,"  
  
"Sorry for what?" I asked.  
  
"For forcing her up there. He needed to act and he's sorry, Jag. He blames himself for her death because he ordered her to go up,"  
  
"He doesn't need sympathy from me," I murmured, "He wants to blame himself, let him. I need to prepare."  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 6, Post 5  
  
By obi's girl  
  
I was supposed to meet with the Solo family and tell them what happened, but I needed to practice first. A few hours delay didn't matter; Han, Leia, Master Skywalker and Mara would still be there. "I'm sorry -- I don't know what else to say," I started and then rolled my eyes, looking at the mirror.  
  
Wedge offered to go in my place but I needed to do this myself. I loved them and felt close each of them, eve Han. I smiled to myself, looking again at the mirror.  
  
"Okay, one more shot," I mused as my face became passive again. "We all loved Jaina. She was very special," I stopped, cringing. Those words -- it sounded so much like a eulogy. No, I need to start a different way.  
  
I straightened again and faced the mirror, "Something has happened. We were in a dogfight. Before, I asked Jaina to stay on the ground until I got there, but her skills were needed up there. I got there a little late when she was cornered by five skips and was shot down," I paused, looking sympathetically at the mirror, "I'm sorry Leia but Jaina is dead. We've recovered her body and now await your instructions,"  
  
That sounded about right but was I ready to say that to her face? I shrugged, looking away from the mirror and faced Kyp, "You think I'm ready?"  
  
He smiled, "You sure you don't want Wedge to take your place?"  
  
"I'm sure," I mumbled, "No, I need to see them and tell them what happened...So, what are you going to do?"  
  
Kyp shrugged, "You mean will I stay with Twin Suns or return to the Jedi? To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I suppose since you were closer to Jaina, it's up to you whether you want to disband the squadron or lead it,"  
  
"I can't lead them, Kyp," I cried, "I have the experience to but I can't finish what she started. Twin Suns was her squadron. Why don't you lead it?"  
  
"...for the same reason you won't," he replied, "We were both close to Jaina. We can't replace her and neither of us agrees to take the lead. I guess the only thing to do is to disband the squadron; close the operation,"  
  
I huffed, "There are so many things to do before next week -- go through the apartment and pack her things away and decide what exactly are we going to do with Twin Suns and then there's the week after that."  
  
"It'll be hard Jag, but it's best to take things day by day,"  
  
"Where do you Jedi get these sayings? You know all the right words to say for the right occasion." I laughed.  
  
Kyp shrugged, "It takes years of wisdom and experience. Before the war started, believe it or not, I wasn't always this wise. I was stupid and full of ego,"  
  
"You -- stupid and lots of ego," I joked, shrugging, "I never would have thought you could be that way,"  
  
"I didn't know; everyone saw it except me," he paused, "Funny, it takes something like an invasion to really find out who you are,"  
  
I huffed, looking at the mirror, "It's called growing up, Kyp. Don't feel bad about it; it happens to all of us," I paused, glancing at the chrono, "I need to go," I huffed again, turning away from the mirror and as I started to the door, Kyp called to me again, "Jag, the two of you - you were right together. Jaina, she was never for me. It was you, it was always you."  
  
"Thank you, Kyp," I murmured.  
  
tbc 


	8. Chapter 7

The Funeral Chapter 7, Post 1 "The Kiss" by obi's girl  
  
Sera smiled partly as she kissed Kyp one last time as they both stood at the door of the training room. She had broken her promise to Gavin but now she realized, one way or another, Kyp or someone else would have found out the truth about Jaina. She reached for his hand and tightened her grip on it, staring up at his face, "Kyp please promise me, whatever you're going to do, don't do anything stupid,"  
  
"I won't; I promise I won't," he mused, kissing her hand, "I'll come back,"  
  
"You better Durron because I look horrible in black," Sera solemnly laughed as she kissed him, bracing his neck, "Please come back to me, Kyp. I need you here."  
  
~~  
  
"Jag?" Celeste asked, alarmed he wanted to see her still after the kiss. She unconsciously tightened the robe around herself as she stepped back, allowing him into her apartment. It was early, very early but after years of practicing, Celeste had become accustomed to patients showing up at her apartment in early hours of the morning. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Jag turned to her and braced her neck, kissing her again. He stared at her face for a moment as he let go and stepped back, "Sorry for the intrusion, doctor,"  
  
She shrugged, "Which intrusion are you sorry for?"  
  
"The kiss in your office should have never happened," he mused, "It was crossing the line and I'm sorry -- and just now, that was the last time,"  
  
Celeste breathed, glancing at her chrono, "I suppose it's pointless to take this discussion to my office...what happened after you vanished from my office yesterday?"  
  
"I saw Jaina's ghost again...she said the military grabbed the wrong body and now, they're searching for her real body and somehow, she and Cherith are coming back,"  
  
"Coming back?" Celeste questioned, "You mean they're --- how is that possible? No one returns from the dead; it's a whole other world."  
  
Jag shrugged, mumbling, "It's a Jedi thing I guess," he glanced at Celeste, "What did you feel?"  
  
Celeste frowned, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean ---?"  
  
"The kiss. What did you feel?"  
  
She shrugged, turning away from him and sitting on her bed, "I thought this issue wasn't going to be discussed anymore,"  
  
"The kiss will never happen again but the discussion isn't closed, doctor,"  
  
"I suppose --- I guess I liked it, but I know I shouldn't and neither should you. Jag, you're a widow. You loved your wife and your daughter very much and this --- what's happening between us is too soon and I'm not the right person for you to move along with. I'm your doctor, your therapist," Celeste reasoned, glancing at him, "There, the discussion is closed."  
  
He shrugged, "The discussion isn't closed," he mused, walking over the bed and cupping her cheeks in his hands, "I lied," and bent down and kissed her again.  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral Chapter 7, Post 2 "Crossing the Line" By obi's girl  
  
Celeste shrugged, pulling away from Jag. No, this couldn't happen. Jag was very attractive and she did have feelings for him, but Celeste was sure it wasn't love. Celeste rubbed her lips, looking at him. "That was crossing the line,"  
  
He shrugged, "I'm sorry Celeste...I don't know. All these feelings are mixed up with a load of other feelings. I'm sorry I kissed you,"  
  
Celeste smiled; she didn't want to discourage him --- scratch that. As a psychiatrist, it was her job to help him move on. "Jag, it's all right to feel,"  
  
Jag looked at her, "Then you did feel something?"  
  
"I didn't say I felt something. You're twisting my words. I said it was all right to feel ---" she said.  
  
"Do you think I could love you?" Jag asked as he looked at her again.  
  
Celeste shut her mouth. For the first time, she didn't know what to say. Jag was reaching out to her but if she accepted, she'd be taking advantage of his feeling as well as her own. "Yes, I do think you could love me Jag but it wouldn't be real. You loved Jaina and your daughter very much and I --- I would only be a substitute for that love."  
  
He shrugged, "You're right, doc. It wouldn't be right if we pursued this; both our feelings would be hurt in the end,"  
  
"Jag," Celeste started, "If you weren't a widow and I wasn't your doctor -- things would probably very different between us but the reality is I am your doctor and you are grieving for your wife and child,"  
  
"Then I'm not your patient anymore and you're not my doctor. I release you from your services,"  
  
Celeste smiled, "Are you always this stubborn, Jagged Fel?"  
  
"Kiss me again," he whispered.  
  
She huffed and leaned forward again, touching her lips to his. Celeste's mind screamed 'this was wrong and she should stop' but her heart told her a different story. She broke away again but it was only for a moment. Jag smiled, brushing her bangs away as he stared at her green eyes. This was crazy. He was reaching out to her that day in her office but after he kissed her that day, things were different. He bent down to kiss her again but stopped. Celeste's head hung in the air, waiting for another kiss.  
  
"No, I shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't be doing this," Jag realized, leaving her on the bed.  
  
Celeste opened her eyes and looked at Jag as he shrugged helplessly. "You were right before. If this happened, we'd be playing with each other's feelings and that's not fair,"  
  
"I said that?" she echoed as Jag nodded yes. Celeste then cleared her throat, gaining her composure again. "You're right. We can't do that to each other,"  
  
"So I guess I'll see you for my appointment later?"  
  
She shrugged, smiling, "Didn't we just have one a few minutes ago?"  
  
Jag smiled, blushing a bit, "Oh yeah -- I forgot. Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Celeste."  
  
"Tomorrow." she mused. Jag smiled at her and turned, leaving her quarters. Celeste moaned, falling back on her bed. How much longer could she deny these feelings?  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral Chapter 7, Post 3 By obi's girl  
  
I remember when Cherith, my sister and Davin died. My father was in his office, going over new flight plans. A man, no not a man, an ensign came into the office and handed my father a holo pad. My father took the holopad; he might have glanced at it briefly but he knew what the message meant.  
  
The ensign stood there for a minute longer than he was supposed to before my father shouted at him to get out. He jumped and quickly left the office. Baron Soontir Fel dropped on to his seat and buried his face in his hands. He had been used to receiving death certificates...usually he'd have to fill them out for another pilot's family. War kills you; it eats you. My father had dropped all his protective barriers that day and allowed his human side to surface.  
  
The death certificate was of my sister and brother. Cherith was helping refugees to another world, far away from Vong space but not far enough. Davin was on patrol, accompanied only by five claw crafts.  
  
And now I was going to give Jaina's parents and family the same holopad and bad news. I huffed, glancing down at the holopad and then at the door. The holopad was only for formality. I stood there a little longer and as I reached for the COM, the door slid open.  
  
Mara stared at me for a moment and then glanced down at the holopad. She stepped aside, joining Luke and little Ben on the couch. Ben was silent, sensing there was something dark and solemn about the occasion. They knew; they all knew what happened. Kyp was right; they sensed her death through the Force. My being there didn't really matter; all of this was just pretense.  
  
"Jag," Leia started.  
  
"Leia," I whispered, removing my gaze from Ben. "Where's Han?"  
  
She shrugged, smiling, "Jag, I know why you've come -- Jaina's dead. We all know; we felt her death through the Force,"  
  
I nodded, "Yes, I thought so," I glanced the holo pad and handed it to her, "This probably doesn't even matter but it's the official report of what happened to her,"  
  
Leia took the holopad in her hands and touched her thumb to the ident pad. The words scrolled on the screen but she probably didn't even see them. I glanced up again as Han entered the room. He and I stared at each other for a minute, but it could have been longer. Han stepped forward, stalking over me. I could have sworn he was going to hit me in the face or yell but he grabbed me in a big hug instead.  
  
"I know you loved her Jag," he whispered in my ear, "And probably did what you could to get to her in time --- so I'm not mad at you. Besides, I know you've lost a lot more than Jaina." Han patted my back and let go, bracing Leia's shoulder.  
  
I shrugged, looking at Leia, "I'm not really familiar with Jedi burial rites..."  
  
"I'll work on it," Luke added, speaking up for the first time, "I'll take care of everything,"  
  
"Um," I added, grabbing a silver cylinder from my belt, "The rescue team found her lightsaber. I don't know what to do with it but Kyp said you might know,"  
  
Luke smiled, taking the lightsaber in his hands. "Thank you, Jag...I'll hold onto this now but I'm going to give it back to you later,"  
  
I didn't say anything as I looked at Leia again, "Are you going to be all right?"  
  
"Jaina was our last child, my girl but I know wherever she is, she's with her brothers,"  
  
It was a cliché answer but I didn't want to say it was. I simply smiled at all of them. I turned, staring at the door again as Mara clutched my hand. I turned and looked at her, "If you ever want to talk to anyone Jag, we're here."  
  
Tbc  
  
The Funeral Chapter 7, Post 4 Revelation  
  
By obi's girl  
  
Sera Fey`lina took another sip of her beer as she sat alone at the bar of the pilot's lounge. There had been days, even good days, she'd go in there and order herself a drink and watch many of the pilots humiliate themselves. Those were definitely the good days; other days, one of her fellow Jedi would talk her to death about the direction of the Jedi. It wasn't new. Everyone had a view of how things were supposed to be.  
  
But this wasn't one of those days. After so many years of flirting and fights, she and Kyp finally hooked up only Sera wasn't completely convinced. Kyp still had feelings for Jaina -- she was sure about that. Before leaving, she asked him to be careful and not to do anything stupid, but knowing Kyp, he probably would.  
  
"Sera?"  
  
She turned slightly and rolled her eyes as Corran Horn sat next to her. "Horn,"  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Sera shrugged, fingering her glass. "Thinking," she turned to him and sighed, "What's your excuse?"  
  
Corran smiled, ordering a beer himself, "I saw you and Kyp leaving the gym room. You too...you seemed close."  
  
"I'm not ashamed of anything, Horn. Unlike everyone else, I don't care what people think. Kyp and I have been friends for a long time; we understand each other because we come from the same background. Why should the fact Kyp and I are lovers now change anything?"  
  
"Just making conversation," he mumbled, "I also heard something's going on with Jaina's body. Is that true too?" Sera scowled, averting her eyes and Corran frowned, "It is true then. Her body is missing,"  
  
Sera huffed, drinking again, "I wish it weren't true but it is...How did word reach you? That meeting was classified,"  
  
"Wes...he's a bad liar,"  
  
She smiled, "Yes, I always suspected he was...Now you know, you know you can't tell anyone else not even Luke. Matter of fact, its better if he doesn't know at all."  
  
"Not tell Luke? Sera...You know he'll find out eventually. It doesn't have to be through me; he'll find out another way,"  
  
"Just don't tell him, Horn," she hissed, looking up at him.  
  
Corran shrugged, "If we can't talk about Jaina's missing body than we can talk about your involvement with Kyp?"  
  
Sera rolled her eyes, standing up, "I'm not a little girl. You don't have to tell me anything I don't already know..."  
  
"Then can I give you advice?"  
  
"Whatever," she mumbled, sitting back down.  
  
Corran huffed, fingering his glass, "Kyp's been through a lot of hurt, Sera. Give him some space."  
  
Sera nodded, "I know that. I was there when for him when Wurth died.... You were at Jaina's funeral, right? What was it like? How did Kyp act then?"  
  
He shrugged, "Everyone said something about her --- except Kyp and Jag. They didn't talk at all. Luke, he gave Jag Jaina's lightsaber. Kyp left immediately after the service. Why do you ask?"  
  
"Doesn't he seem a lot more mature since then?"  
  
Corran grunted, "I guess he is..."  
  
"Then there's no need to worry about him," she finished, "Excuse me." Sera jumped off the stool, dropping a few credits on the table for the beer and started to leave. As she started to leave, Sera turned to him again, "Did you ever see the body?"  
  
"Luke did before the ceremony and he clarified it was Jaina...Sera, what are you thinking?"  
  
She shrugged, "..and no one questions him and I guess no one really knew where to look when she died. So many pilots were involved in that dogfight and shot down ," Sera paused, looking at him, "Are you sure she was properly identified?"  
  
"Why would Luke misidentify his niece? He has no reason to lie."  
  
"No, he wouldn't," she mused. Sera smiled, biting her lip, "It's just a hunch...I may not even be right."  
  
Corran huffed, "Right about what? Sera, what's going on?"  
  
Sera waved her hand, "I can't explain it." She grabbed her jacket and ran out of the bar.  
  
"Sera," another voice asked from behind.  
  
She turned, expecting to see Corran again but was shocked when she saw Kyp instead. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I know where Jaina's body is; it's just a hunch though. I may not even be right."  
  
Kyp gasped, "Only a hunch?"  
  
She shrugged, repeating, "I may not even be right."  
  
"I owe you a date if you're right," he said.  
  
Sera smiled, walking closer to him, "You'd owe me a lot more than a date, Durron. A lot more."  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral Chapter 7, Post 5 "Final Goodbye"  
  
By obi's girl  
  
A/N: This chapter is an extended version of the first chapter, which was the actual funeral, but more is explained in this chapter.  
  
"Jag, we're ready to start," Luke whispered to me as I stood there, staring at the wooden pyre. I had never been to one of these things before...that's a stupid thing to say, obviously. I attended my brother and sister's funeral. I remember looking over at my mother.  
  
My father held her shoulder as she cried uncontrollably. We were the only humans there; everyone else around us was Chiss and for the first I realized how much of a minority we were. And how hard it must have been for my parents to make a name themselves in the community. The prejudice, the hate...we were the aliens.  
  
But here, I was the only one that wasn't a Jedi. I turned around; many of the senior Jedi had already gathered...Corran Horn, Kam Solusar, Streen Tionne, and Cilghal. A lot of brown hoods were drawn but I knew who they were. Zekk, Jaina's childhood friend, Rayner...and Leia.  
  
I had never been able to picture Leia as a Jedi, even though it was in her blood. She was more of a politician but for Jaina's funeral, she donned the traditional Jedi robe and wore her lightsaber. I turned back to Luke, "Is there anything I'm supposed to say or do?"  
  
He smiled, patting my shoulder, "You can say something if you want to but you're not required to do anything." I watched as Luke backed away and stood at the foot of the pyre. "Welcome," he said and then breathed, pacing himself, "Many of you had known my niece since she was a young girl at the academy. All my life, all I wanted to do was protect Jaina and her brothers from harm but knowing our family, trouble always seems to follow us," he laughed to himself, "I don't want to be here because this is Jaina's funeral and I know many of you don't want to be here either. We were all forced to be strong up to a point -- I think Jaina's death has broken all of us because we believed so much she'd out live this war and have a family of her own one day."  
  
I looked away, scowling but didn't say anything as he continued, "I ask you know, if anyone has anything they want to say, come forward and say it." Luke raised his head, looking at each of the Jedi until his gaze rested on his sister.  
  
Leia looked up at him and held her head high, walking forward and taking the podium. "My brother was right --- I don't want to be here because this is Jaina's funeral. She was my last child. After Anakin and Jacen died, Han and I made it our mission to keep the same thing from happening to Jaina and her death is even more depressing because..." she turned and looked at me, "because she had so much to live for; so much to look forward too. She was engaged and one day have a family and Han and I were going to be grandparents."  
  
She was quiet for a moment, almost as if she was expecting me to say something but sighed when she realized I wouldn't give. Leia raised her gaze as she noticed a hooded Jedi arrive late. He lowered his hood and she realized it was Kyp. "Thank you all for coming; I have nothing else to say." Leia hugged Luke briefly before stepping down and taking her place next to Han.  
  
Han kissed his wife's cheek and went up the podium. He smiled nervously at all the Jedi, "I don't know what exactly to say...Ya know, before the accident, we sprung an engagement party on Jaina and Jag. They probably weren't expecting that but I remember it was the first time she had been happy in a long time, and I know her brothers' are taking care of her wherever she is but I can't guarantee she's happy."  
  
Several of the other Jedi came up and spoke as well but all I could do was stare at the burial pyre. I wasn't lying when I said I had never been to one of these things, a Jedi burial. From what I had read and heard, the Jedi burned the body of the fallen Jedi and I guess, the ashes were lifted up to the sky and the spirit would be raised to the sky or after life or something like that. Only, it wasn't just Jaina's spirit that would be raised but Cherith's too.  
  
I removed my gaze from the pyre and looked at the podium. Curiously, Tahiri Veila, the youngest Jedi Knight had something to say. She had been with Jaina and her brothers on Myrkr. She mourned Anakin for months and now Jaina was gone. They hadn't been very close but they knew of each other.  
  
"Jaina and I were never friends...that's a strange thing to say since we both loved Anakin very much. But we were never close, never talked or laughed together but I had grown up with her and her brothers. Jaina was all about the rational; that there always had to be a logical solution for everything," she smiled to herself, "Now I bet Anakin's up there telling Jaina her actions were irrational and not logical, and he would be right. We were never friends but I remember one conversation we had after Anakin died. I told her that she shouldn't avoid her family and distance herself from them because one day, they might be taken away from her and she'd regret not ever telling them she was sorry or that she loved them."  
  
Tahiri turned and looked at the pyre. She knelt down , took her hand and kissed it. Tahiri turned and smiled again and quietly walked back to her place.  
  
~~  
  
How could this happen, I cried, staring at his fiancé's burial pyre. We never even had the chance to be together or grow old together and watch our grandchildren...I wanted to hit something, anything to dull the pain of loosing Jaina. I glanced up as Luke Skywalker and his Uncle neared him; the two of them probably wanted to offer their condolences but I didn't want to hear it.  
  
I just wished all the pain could go away and there was nothing, no memories, nothing. I turned away, walking in the opposite direction. It would be hard the next couple days; people would stop by and say they were sorry and it was a great loss to not only to me but everyone. I'd have to smile and say 'thank you' and move along, only to be met by someone else who would say the same thing...  
  
Strangely, I always believed Jaina was invincible because she was a Jedi. A warrior and immortal; it was stupid to believe that but I never once believed it could all end and Jaina would be taken away from me. Just once, I wished were a Jedi so I could go out and slaughter the Vong. They didn't deserve to live; none of them.  
  
"Jag...?" Luke asked, stopping me in my tracks as I started to leave. I huffed, facing the Jedi Master. It was strange, throughout the entire service, I expected Luke to belt over and start crying uncontrollably because he was Jaina's Uncle. He never did and in a way, that angered me but I knew he was grieving in his own way. Luke smiled at me, removing a silver cylinder from his robe --- Jaina's lightsaber. "She would have wanted you to have this...I don't know what you can do with it since you're not a Jedi, but I know she would have wanted you to have it and keep it safe for her."  
  
"Just wish I could have kept her safe," I mumbled, taking the lightsaber in his hands. Jaina's lightsaber had been everything to her, despite the fact she rarely used it. She was more accustomed to using a blaster than a lightsaber; her aim was always precise and hardly ever off-target. "Thank you, Master Skywalker." I turned away from him, gripping the lightsaber in my hand as I disappeared from the Temple.  
  
~~  
  
I huffed, staring up at the night's moon. I had been sitting on one the hillsides for the past two hours, trying not to remember Jaina and my own pain. I'd have to go through her things tomorrow. After Myrkr, everyone believed Jacen was dead along with Anakin. I couldn't even imagine what Leia was probably going through at that moment. She had lost both her sons on Myrkr and now, she'd lost another child.  
  
It wasn't fair...Everything was a wreck...  
  
I stood up, glaring at the clouds, "Why did you leave me, Jaina?!" I shouted, tears threatening his eyes, "We could have been so happy! I hate you for this, Sticks! Damnit, I loved you...and I still do. But you're not here; you'll never be here again. I'll never have the chance to tell you 'I love you' every morning after waking up. It's not fair, Sticks, what you're putting me through."  
  
Jag... a voice cried.  
  
I turned, if it was one of Jaina's family, I didn't want to talk to them. I didn't want to see anyone, except her face. I wanted to run my fingers down her cheeks and stare into her eyes, and know everything was going to be all right.  
  
Jag... the voice repeated as Jag's eyes cleared.  
  
I was able to make out a bluish-white ethereal body, but it could have been anything but it wasn't. It was Jaina. She smiled lovingly at me; her hair was unbounded and dressed in a loose white gown. Hello, my love.  
  
"Jaina....? How? What are you?" I asked, still in awe of how beautiful she actually was.  
  
She shrugged, I'm dead; I'm not here, well, physically anyway. But I had to talk to you. [/]  
  
I huffed, staring again at the moonlight, "What about? That you're sorry you're dead?"  
  
I expected her to get angry with me but she didn't. Instead, Jaina simply touched my shoulder. It was a weird feeling; she was after all a ghost but it was a soothing feeling; like she was still with me and had never left. [i]I know you miss you, Jag. The dead can feel when people in this life miss them...I miss you, too. I'll always miss you.  
  
I turned to her, "Why? Why did you have to be shot down....?"  
  
Jaina shrugged, You think I wanted to be shot down, Jagged Fel? I was careful but something went wrong...Look, Jag I came here to talk to you about what's going to happen tomorrow.  
  
"I don't want to talk about that, Jaina..."  
  
You have to because it's important. Not only tomorrow but the rest of your life...I know it's something you probably don't want to hear but you have to. Jag, you will move on and you'll find love again. I promise you you'll never be alone. I'll spare you that pain.  
  
I looked into her eyes; I wanted to be angry with her but I couldn't. "You were my true love, Jaina. My life was supposed to be spent with you and you only. I know that now, but moving on? That'll never happen."  
  
She smirked, Oh, it'll happen. Not right away, of course, but it'll happen and you'll fall in love again. Just to let you know, I won't be jealous as long as you're happy and not wasting your life. I don't want you to waste your life, Jag. You need to live it and find happiness. Jaina stood up, smiling at me, I have to go now, but I'll always be watching over you, my love. Goodbye, Jag.  
  
"Jaina, no, don't go!" I cried but it was too late; her ghost had already disappeared and I was alone again.  
  
tbc 


	9. Chapter 8

The Funeral  
  
Chapter 8, Post 1  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"Are you saying you know where Jaina's body is?" Gavin asked Sera, as she and Kyp stood in his office. He had already ordered a search team to locate her body and bring it home. Now, he had to give them different orders to look in a different place, far beyond the point they were looking at. "How do you know this? Did you have a vision?"  
  
Sera bit her lip, "It's more like a hunch," Gavin rolled his eyes as she continued, "I know you need concrete information Colonel but just listen to what I have to say,"  
  
"Listen to her," Kyp added, "Sera told me about her epiphany on her way over here, and to be honest, I don't think she's that far off."  
  
"Go ahead, Sera," he mused, sitting down.  
  
Sera moved Kyp aside, grabbing a sheet of paper and a pen. "According to reports, five other x-wings had been shot down prior to Jaina's, and the 5th one was shot down about the same time Jaina died. You know you grabbed the wrong body but you didn't really know what direction her x-wing went. Now Jag's claw craft was situated about here," she managed, drawing a circle around a badly drawn claw craft. "He was facing the east, which he assumed was where Jaina was and of course we know that can't be true because we still don't have her body. But what if...what if she was behind him the whole time,"  
  
"Wait, you're saying Jaina's x-wing was positioned behind his claw craft...but how can that be?"  
  
"The fifth unknown x-wing was in front of Jag. It looked exactly like Jaina's but he wasn't able to distinguish clearly if it was hers, and over the COM, you can never tell the direction where the other person is. Jag assumed since the x-wing he was seeing was Jaina because it was surrounded by 5 coral skippers and shot down,"  
  
"But it wasn't," Gavin added, "If she was behind him the whole time, that means her x-wing had to have fallen in the opposite direction, away from the original site."  
  
She smiled, "If you trace her flight path, you'll find her x-wing and her body and this whole mess will be behind us,"  
  
Gavin mirrored her smile, "I'm going to have to promote you Fey`lina if you're right about this,"  
  
"I hope I am...All you need to do is follow her flight path and you'll find her."  
  
His smile suddenly disappeared, "Who was the other pilot then, if it wasn't Jaina?" Sera shrugged and then she looked at Kyp and her eyes widened. "Sera, who was it?"  
  
"Karia Ylena," she whispered.  
  
"Karia Ylena. Yes, I remember her...she and Jaina were twins. Their resemblance was uncanny; I understand why he thought he was holding Jaina in his arms. Except Karia has a tattoo on her right arm; that's the only distinguishable mark between them."  
  
Sera raised her eyebrow, "And no one thought to look for this tattoo?"  
  
He shrugged, "Jag assured Jaina's family it was her and they didn't question him, and Luke clarified it was her before the funeral," Gavin paused, "Look, you two can go. I'll get this information to the head of the search team."  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 8, Post 2  
  
"The Affair"  
  
By obi's girl  
  
"Karia Ylena," Jag mused as he glanced at Celeste. Celeste was shocked to see him after the small interlude between them in her quarters. She was sure she wasn't going to see Jag again for a couple days, when he had the chance to thinks things over. "The body the military found wasn't Jaina's," he said.  
  
Celeste huffed, tapping her pen, "But you talked to her before she died.how could the military have been mistaken?"  
  
Jag shrugged, turning to her, "I met Karia shortly after I joined Twin Suns. She and Jaina joked that Karia was her long lost twin sister. Karia could even imitate Jaina's speech pattern. But I remember she said to me one time, that was different between them was Karia had a tattoo on her arm."  
  
"A small tattoo. I can't believe that's the only distinguishable feature to tell them apart,"  
  
"Force signature and lightsaber," Jag mused as he suddenly grabbed Jaina's lightsaber from his belt. "Karia wasn't a Jedi; she was more of a pilot - so why did she have this?"  
  
Flashback  
  
"Karia," Jaina said, grabbing the extra lightsaber from her belt. If anything happens, I want you to have this."  
  
Karia frowned, flipping her hair aside as she sat on the locker bench. She took the cylinder in her hands and huffed, looking up at Jaina again. "What use will it be? I'm a pilot and the only stick I know how to use is a pilot's stick,"  
  
Jaina smirked, "I know that but this is more for decoy reasons rather than protection. Times are more dangerous now and I can't risk being killed...I know it's a lot to ask but I need you to do this for me. Please Karia, I need you,"  
  
Karia smiled, igniting the lightsaber, "It's the same as yours."  
  
She shrugged, "It has to be."  
  
"I'll do it, Jaina. I'll be your shadow, your face.."  
  
~~  
  
"Karia did her duty to protect Jaina and now, she's dead because Jaina signed her death warrant," Jag mused.  
  
Celeste moved from behind her desk and sat on the edge of the front, "So, the military's looking for her real body now, I presume?"  
  
He turned to her, "They have to. Matters are still complicated."  
  
"Are they?"  
  
Jag looked away, "Celeste, we can't, remember. We decided it would make matters worse if something happened."  
  
She shrugged, "I know that but the kiss you gave me that day in my apartment, haunts me. Don't tell me you've forgotten completely."  
  
"I haven't,"  
  
Celeste smiled, "Jag, I know we're not supposed to cross the line but we've always crossed it, and we both know it."  
  
"And you want to cross the line farther?" he added, "I won't, I refuse to betray Jaina's memory like that."  
  
Celeste huffed, leaned forward and kissed him. Jag pulled away and then pulled her towards him again and kissed her in return. "No, this is wrong..." he mused.  
  
"In the office, it's wrong," she corrected, "Someone maybe watching. I'll go to your place. 9:00."  
  
Jag gulped, "This isn't love, Celeste..."  
  
"It probably isn't, but we owe it to ourselves to find out."  
  
He shrugged, kissing her again and then let go. Jag wiped his mouth and looked away. "Nine o'clock. I'll see you at nine o'clock." He turned to her briefly and left the office.  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 8, Post 3  
  
"No Turning Back"  
  
Celeste huffed, fidgeting as she stood before Jag's quarters. What exactly was she doing there? To prove she didn't feel anything for Jag? She had been second-guessing herself ever since she left her office and searched through her wardrobe for something to wear. This wasn't her normal character --- she didn't usually invite patients to have affairs with her. This was crazy, really crazy but she was already there and she couldn't turn back.  
  
She hesitated, reaching up to the com and pressed her thumb to it. As she waited for Jag to answer, Celeste breathed slowly. This has to be a mistake, a crazy mistake but she couldn't go back. No turning back, she thought. Finally, Jag answered. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Jag moved aside and Celeste walked inside the apartment.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do so I cooked dinner first," Jag mused as she turned to the left and was taken aback. He had prepared a beautiful dinner for the two of them; a single white rose sat in the vase. "It's a Celestial Spring Rose; very rare and very hard to find."  
  
"How did you get it then?" she asked.  
  
Jag shrugged, "I asked the computer for all the different types of roses...I wanted this dinner to be special. Finally, I came upon this one and asked if it was available anywhere. It's close to extinction but I asked the computer to replicate one for me," He turned to her and smiled, "You look beautiful."  
  
Celeste blushed, "Thank you...I, Jag, I'm not sure if we should be doing this."  
  
"I thought this was your idea; now, you're second-guessing yourself. It's bad a characteristic for a doctor; psychiatrists are supposed to be firm in their ideas and thoughts. It's a dangerous combination if you're not," he joked.  
  
Celeste smiled and then moved towards the table. Jag gulped, moving his position and pulled out the chair for her. "How am I doing so far?" he whispered into her ear.  
  
"Fine," she murmured and sat down. Jag took his seat on the opposite chair. "So, what we do have to eat?"  
  
Jag raised an eyebrow, removing the lids on both their dishes. "Fried Salmon, curried rice and spied chicken soup...I hope that's not too much,"  
  
"Sounds delicious," she mused, taking her fork and cutting a piece of the salmon. Jag cleared his throat, eating a piece himself. "Shouldn't we talk or something?"  
  
He shrugged, "This isn't a therapy session, Celeste,"  
  
"I know it isn't but this dinner shouldn't be complete silence...I've never liked silence. There's an almost eerie, dead feeling if a room is completely silent."  
  
"Music," he mused and snapped his fingers. Immediately, a soft medley started playing.  
  
She smiled, "You've thought of everything, haven't you? A delicious dinner, exotic rose and beautiful music. Is there anything you've missed?"  
  
"Desert," he paused, smiling, "but I think we'll get to that later in the evening."  
  
~~  
  
Kyp Durron smiled as he turned back to Sera. She smiled at him in return as he walked closer to her and sat beside her on the bed. Kyp raised his hand and lightly touched her cheek. They both had waited for so long for this moment...the constant flirtation and teasing. "You were wonderful today," he whispered, tracing the curves on her jaw.  
  
Sera shrugged, "I've been trained to look for small details like that. As a spy and liaison, I have to look at everything from every angle,"  
  
Kyp leaned forward, smiling mischievously, "You're good at what you do, aren't you, Wildcat?"  
  
She laughed, pushing him away slightly. "Don't tell me you've forgotten who you are, Sera?"  
  
"Those days are finished, Kyp. I'm not like that anymore. Sera 'Wildcat' Fey`lina is dead; I'm just Sera,"  
  
He fidgeted, "Why does it bother you so much? What is it about those days that haunt you?"  
  
She shrugged, "They weren't bad days...I was young, naive and a sly young girl. I thought I could get away with anything, even murder,"  
  
"You murdered someone to get what you want? I don't believe that..."  
  
Sera scowled, turning to him, "Then you don't know me at all, if you think I'm not capable of murder. I have killed people Kyp to get what I wanted and of course, on Tatoonie, if someone turns up dead, it's rarely looked at. Authorities believed it was because of a gambling problem. No real concern,"  
  
"Sera," Kyp started as he moved beside her, "I know who you are and you are not a murderer. I have never known you to hurt anyone. The Sera I do know, is a compassionate, loving and tough but not a murderer.."  
  
"You think you know me, Kyp but you don't. All these years we've been friends, you thought you knew who I was but you never did. None of them did," she whispered as Kyp suddenly kissed her. "You should care, ya know..."  
  
He shrugged, "I probably should care and worry and panic, but I don't care,"  
  
~~  
  
"May I have this dance?" Jag asked Celeste, as he extended his hand to her. Celeste smiled, slipping her hand through his and stood up. "Are you enjoying yourself?"  
  
She shrugged, still smiling, "I guess I am," Celeste sighed, resting her head on his right shoulder. "It still scares me, though. I mean, isn't this a bit impersonal?" she whispered.  
  
Jag laughed, "The dance or that we're this close to each other?"  
  
"The dance - it still feels odd."  
  
"Hope you don't say that again later," Jag countered.  
  
Celeste snaked an arm around his neck and sighed, "I've just never done this before."  
  
Jag pulled back and looked at her incredulously, "Go on a date?"  
  
She smiled, "No, I've been on a date before. What I meant was invite a patient of mine to dinner and desert. It's not something I'd normally do."  
  
"Oh," he mused and stopped dancing. Celeste frowned as he walked away from her and sat down on the bed. "Come here; sit down." Celeste gulped, sitting beside him. Jag smiled, rolling his eyes, "You can sit closer than that, doctor." She huffed, slowly inching closer to him. She didn't move as Jag's hand touched her cheek and slowly slid down her shoulders. Celeste smiled at Jag as she uncomfortably sat next him to on the bed. She had her doubts about this being right or wrong, but looking into Jag's eyes, she wasn't sure anymore.  
  
She gasped again as Jag leaned forward and kissed her. Celeste huffed, pulling away again, "No, this is wrong..." she whispered and stood up from the bed.  
  
"I thought you wanted this..."  
  
Celeste turned to him, "Is this really what we want, Jag?"  
  
He shrugged, "Remember what I said before? I said it's bad a characteristic for a doctor not to know the difference between what is right and wrong...I admit, we don't know if this is right. These feelings between us, it could be just nothing but we ignore this, we'll never know."  
  
Celeste shivered and her shawl tighter around her shoulders. Jag stood up and braced her waist from behind and kissed her neck. "If you hate me in the morning, or if we end up hating each other --- better to get it over with now rather than later," he joked.  
  
She laughed and turned to him, "Does everything always have to be a joke, Jag?"  
  
He shrugged again, "Not always."  
  
They stared at each other again; Celeste smiled, shrugging herself, "I guess this is the only way to find out," she mused as Jag leaned in and kissed her again. As they kissed, Celeste found herself pulling him back to the bed...  
  
tbc  
  
The Funeral  
  
Chapter 8, Post 4  
  
"Choices"  
  
A/N: Finally, this is the last chapter of the funeral. I am soo happy and relieved it's over. Well, not quite. Of course, there's going to be a sequel, and it will be titled "I'd Still Miss You," and starts immediately after the funeral. And yes, Jaina will finally come back to the land of the living, with Cherith!  
  
Enjoy the final chapter & it's shocking conclusion   
  
Celeste bit her lip as she slept beside Jag. What had she done? What had she become? She'd spent the night with her patient; she had dinner with him, danced and she slept with him. Celeste turned over and glanced at Jag. He was still sleeping and as far as she knew, it was still early. Celeste leaned over the bed, grabbing her things and as she sat up, Jag grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Jag please, I have to go. If someone sees me..." Celeste cried.  
  
"It'll be all over the HoloNet,¡" he finished, "Grab your things and get dressed. I'll do the same." Jag slipped from the bed and ran to the fresher.  
  
Celeste turned away, dressing herself but still felt confused. What was going to happen now? She was a doctor, she had a career but now she knew that was all finished. The rules clearly stated she wasn't allowed to have affairs with any of her patients and she broke that rule, willingly. "Um, last night was wonderful. Dinner was lovely," she started.  
  
Jag didn't answer so she continued, "It was memorable - probably the most romantic date I'd ever been on and the end of my career probably,"  
  
Finally, Jag stepped out of the fresher in a clean shirt and pants. They stared at each other again, but it wasn't a lustful stare. He smiled, "You'd better go before the halls get really busy,"  
  
"Yes," she said and fidgeted again, "Look Jag, what happened last night..."  
  
"I felt something," Jag interrupted her and averted his eyes from her face, ¡°But our feelings - they're forbidden, aren't they? And you're not supposed to be here."  
  
Celeste huffed, "I felt something too but we can't discuss that now," she paused and looked at him, "You'll see me today for your appointment. We'll talk then,"  
  
Jag nodded, "Isn't that breaking the rules?"  
  
She smiled, "It probably is but I think we're both in deep trouble already."  
  
Jag leaned down and kissed Celeste, holding her head as he whispered in her ear, "I can't tell you what these feelings are but I think you know already,"  
  
Celeste cleared her throat as he let go, "I should go," Jag didn't say anything as she walked to the door. Jag followed her and pressed his thumb to the pad.  
  
~~  
  
"I should go," Sera mused as she stared into Kyp's face. "I should go and check with Gavin if something has developed,"  
  
Kyp smiled, leaned down and kissed Sera, "I love you, Sera Fey`lina."  
  
She shrugged, looking at him credulously. Had she finally won him over? After many years of flirting and teasing, had Jedi Master Kyp Durron finally admit he felt something for her instead of hiding? "You love me?"  
  
Kyp looked down and fidgeted, "I think I've always loved you. Last night, just made things a little more clear."  
  
Sera laughed, rolling her eyes,"You just better not think I'm easy and will follow you around like a little bantha. I'm more independent than that, Durron,"  
  
"I don't expect you too," he smiled.  
  
~~  
  
Both men smiled, not really noticing each other as they exited their apartment and they both looked up and their smiles disappeared. Sera and Celeste looked at each other as well but were less in shock. Sera turned to Kyp first, and kissed his cheek before taking off. Celeste huffed and looked back at Jag, "I'll see you this afternoon for your appointment," she said. Jag nodded speechlessly as Celeste quickly took off.  
  
"You slept with her?" Kyp whispered.  
  
Jag shrugged, turning, "This never happened, Durron,"  
  
Kyp growled, grabbing Jag's shoulder, "You slept with your doctor. Jag, I know you've been having problems but your doctor? Did she come over for a nightcap or something?"  
  
He nodded, looking away, "It wasn't like that. You don't understand,"  
  
"She willingly stopped by and decided she wanted to spend the night with you,"  
  
"I seduced her!" Jag shouted, glaring at Kyp. "But this never happened. We never had this conversation and I didn't see you; you didn't see me either. You're not going to tell anyone about this,"  
  
Kyp shrugged, "Even Jaina, if she comes back? You're going to lie to her about this situation?"  
  
Jag growled, "It never happened. You never saw Celeste come here so you can't prove anything. This never happened." Kyp didn't say anything as Jag turned and shut the door of his apartment.  
  
tbc 


End file.
